SEARCHING FOR MYSELF
by capshawfan1981
Summary: Arizona leaves everything about her life behind in NYC and runs away to Seattle. Trying to escape her life and start fresh. She finds a job at SGMW where she meets the beautiful Callie Torres and things in her life change. For once in her life, she thinks that maybe... just maybe... things can go her way. But can Callie help Arizona escape the darkness that is in NYC
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey there guys! I am sorry for taking so long to post, but I am back and ready to get to it! I have not forgotten about forbidden ground as I am going to type on that one later today. But do you know how you get this idea for a story in your head, and then suddenly it becomes all cosuming? Well that is what happened in this case. I got an idea for a new story, and I thought I would run it by all of my followers and see how you guys like it. It's something new and different for me, so I'm hoping this goes as planned. Let me know what you think, as the first few chapters will simply be judged by your reviews as to if I continue or shut it down. So here goes, hope you enjoy the first chapter of my newest addition. Peace.

**~Searching For Myself~**

"How many tickets?" The man at the train station asked as Arizona stood at the counter, completely shaken.

"Um, o-one. Just one." She said with a soft stutter.

"Well, where to? I don't have all day ma'am." The older gentleman with bottle cap glasses asked with attitude.

"Seattle." She said.

"Will that be round trip, or one way?"

"One way. For sure." She said, looking from her left to her right, making sure nobody was following her.

"That will be 87.50." he said before she reached into her purse and pulled out the money. She had roughly 3,000 dollars in cash on her person, as she was making sure not to use any credit cards or checks to avoid being tracked. It had taken her almost two years to set aside and save this kind of cash without it being noticed by… her, but she finally had saved enough and was doing what she knew she had done years ago.

"Here ya go. The train will be leaving in 15 minutes. You can wait over there. Get you a cup of coffee… you look like you could use one." The man said, his voice a bit more gentle now after taking in the blondes full appearance.

"Tha-thanks." She said without making eye contact as she walked towards the coffee cart the man had pointed out to her. She pulled out a dollar and fifty cents and paid for her coffee, before pulling the hood on her sweater up over her head, carefully hiding her face. She found a seat in the furthest corner, next to an older woman who was reading her well used book.

"Is this seat taken?" She asked the woman softly.

"No dear, it's all yours. Have a seat." She said with a kind smile, and Arizona returned it graciously.

"You traveling alone?" The elder woman asked kindly, making easy conversation.

"Y-yes. I am."

"Where ya headed?"

"Seattle. For now." Arizona said while taking a sip of her piping hot coffee.

"Business or pleasure?" The woman asked, pressing on knowing that Arizona was hiding something.

"Um, possibly both. But for now, pleasure." She said.

"Ah. Seattle is a nice place, but the rain is annoying. It doesn't matter how sunny it is one minute, the next it could be pitch black and rain cats and dogs. I hope you packed an umbrella." The woman said with a laugh. She knew most likely Arizona did not pack an umbrella, and judging by the small backpack Arizona was carrying she didn't pack much of anything.

"No, I didn't pack one, but I'm sure I can pick one up on the way."

"My names Helen. Helen Parker. And you are?" The woman introduced herself, and extended her hand out to Arizona.

"Arizona. Dr. Arizona Robbins." Arizona said as she accepted the womans hand shake. She saw the woman's eyes go wide and quickly looked down to see what she was looking at and saw that the bruises on her arms were showing since her sleeve had managed to slip up.

Arizona pulled her arm away quickly and covered them back up. Hoping that the woman wouldn't mention them because she definitely didn't feel like explaining that story. Not to her, and not to anyone. Not yet. She wasn't ready.

"New York city, departing for Seattle Washington—now boarding!" The speaker announced loudly and Arizona quickly stood up, sliding her bag over her shoulder. She started to walk away, but stopped when she hear the older woman call out her name.

"Arizona. Wait." The woman said, standing and walking over to Arizona. "Here. Take this. You will need it."

Arizona looked down and saw that the woman had an umbrella in her hand and was offering it to her.

"Oh, I couldn't possibly—" Arizona began.

"No, I insist. You will need it most likely the moment you step off the train. No go on. Don't miss your train."

"Well, thank you. Really. And it was nice to meet you miss Parker." Arizona said with a genuine smile, for the first time in what felt like forever.

"You're welcome dear. Oh, and Arizona? Good luck, and I hope that everything gets better for you. You have a genuine heart, and you deserve happiness." The woman said, before turning and walking away into the crowd.

Arizona stood there frozen for a moment, knowing that her bruises had, without a doubt, been noticed by the woman. She felt a flash of embarrassment come over her, but she quickly brushed it off. It was time to stop thinking about it, and it was time to move on. And Seattle was the furthest place she could think of going to get away from here, and she couldn't get there fast enough. She wanted to start a new life and she needed it to happen soon.

Once she was onboard the train, she pulled her hood over her face and held her bag across her lap before leaning against the window. As the train began to move, and all of the familiar things from New York began to fade into the distance, she felt herself breathe a sigh of relief. She knew that one day, more likely than not, she would have to face her past. But for right now… she was leaving it exactly where it was. The past.

Hours passed, and several stops to drop off or pick up passengers, Arizona was startled awake by the loud steam brakes coming to a stop. The announcer let them know that they had arrived in Seattle, and for everyone to gather their belongings before exiting the train. She looked out the window and laughed softly to herself. The woman from the train station in New York was exactly right. She would be putting the umbrella to good use, as it was indeed pouring down like mad. But when her feet his the pavement, she looked up to the sky as the raindrops hit her face and took a deep breath. It was as if the hugest weights had been taken off her shoulder. Yes, this was the first step in the rest of her life. This was going to be exactly what she needed. It was time to focus on herself. Time to put the past behind her and move forward. She was a kick ass pediatric surgeon, and a great person. She deserved this. And she would be damned if anything or anyone stopped her.

She moved through the crowd, and stepped into the street. She called a cab and climbed in.

"Where to miss?" The man asked.

This is when reality hit in. She had no idea where she was going. She had no home. No job. No friends. She was 100 percent alone here. "Could you take me to a hotel please? A rather cheap one if you don't mind."

The man tilted the rearview mirror down, and took in the full view of the blonde, he could tell she seemed emotionally exhausted. So he decided to do his good deed for the day.

"I know a place. It's only a couple blocks away from here. My sister works there. Just tell her Sam sent you and she will give you a good deal." The driver said before putting the car into drive and taking off.

He pulled up in front of a small, hole in the wall hotel and put the car in park. When Arizona reached into her bag to take out some money, he stopped her.

"This one's on the house. You're new here right? So just look at it as a welcoming present." The man said with a crooked smile.

"I can pay you, really—" Arizona began.

The man waved her hand as to brush her off.

"No necessary. Take care of yourself." He said before she climbed out of the car and said another thank you.

She looked up at the building and thought to herself that a year ago she wouldn't have been caught dead staying in a place like this. She was a surgeon for Christ sake. She could afford to buy this place from the looks of it. But considering she didn't have access to her bank accounts, nor able to write a check… she was living off of what she had on her, so this place would have to be good enough for the time being. So she pushed forward and continued on. She opened the door to the hotel and stepped inside. There was a woman, early 40s behind the desk, smoking a cigarette.

_Great. This is already disgusting. _Arizona thought to herself.

"Excuse me? Uh, the cab driver? Ummm, Sam.. yea. Sam. He told me about this place. I was hoping to rent a room." Arizona said.

"Good old Sam. Finds the pretty blonde ones and uses up his good graces with me." The woman said with a laugh. "How long are you staying sweetheart?" The woman asked through her cloud of smoke.

"A week for now. I just got here, and I need to look into a job. I can pay for the week up front, if that is ok." Arizona said, wafting the smoke away when the woman turned around to get what appeared to be a register log.

"I can do a week. And since you're getting the Sam Special, it will be 155. Typically it would have been 255, but I owe my brother, so I do the favors and he knocks off cash I owe him." The woman said, offering entirely too much of her business to a complete stranger.

"Great. Here you go." Arizona said, handing the woman the money.

"You in room 301, we don't have an elevator, so I hope stairs don't bother you. There's fresh towels in the closet down the hallway, and if you need anything else just give me a holler. We don't do a full menu room service, but we do cook up a mean bowl of stew on Tuesdays, and it's complimentary. If you would like some, be down here at 7pm sharp. It goes fast."

Taking the key, Arizona nodded and began climbing the stairs. Her stomach was growling, but she knew there was no way in hell she would be eating any of Smokey the bandit's mystery meat stew. Right now all she wanted to do was get a warm shower, change into some dry clothes and rest. She knew that she needed to run to a market of some type if she planned to make her money stretch, but for now she wanted to just rest.

She took her key with her, and left her room in search of clean towels. She saw a brown cabinet at the end of the hallway, and opened it up. The sight of the faded, hole and bleach stain covered towels caused her to close the cabinet as quickly as she had opened it. That was it. She was going to have to make her trip to a store, and soon. After a quick stop at her room to fetch the umbrella, she was headed out in search of her 'survival gear'.

Instead of hailing another cab, she stepped into rhythm with the other people that were quickly moving down the street. She thought to herself how much this reminded her of home. Well, what used to be home. But that place no longer existed in her mind. After asking a woman for directions to a market, she made the 15 minute walk and was now stepping inside. She shook off her umbrella and tucked it away before grabbing a cart. She walked over to the houseware side and picked out a towel before grabbing her other toiletries and a few groceries that would keep well in her room. She was in line behind a few people and was off in her own world when the most beautiful sound she had ever heard reached her ears. She turned her head in search of the angelic sound and that's when she spotted her.

Callie Torres was standing next to her best friend Mark, laughing about one of the tabloid magazines he had picked up off the shelf. Her head was tilted back and her mouth open revealing her bright smile as she laughed. Arizona was so long in a trance that she didn't notice the other people moving in line. It wasn't until the person behind her brought her out of it and she moved up. She quickly paid for her items and rounded the corner in hope of catching one more glance of the beautiful latina. But much to her dismay, the woman was gone.

Arizona gathered her bags and began her walk back towards her new/temporary home. After she put away the few items she purchased, she pulled out the one thing she couldn't refuse while there. It was a small bottle of her favorite white wine. She went downstairs in hope that the woman would have a wine opener and silently kicked herself for not even thinking of purchasing such an important item.

The woman was sitting down behind the desk, watching some type of soap opera and yet again, smoking away on her cigarette. Arizona was lucky that the woman had one, and didn't try to have another 30 minute conversation as she was eager to get back to her show.

She locked the door to her room, and grabbed a plastic cup from next to the sink. Pouring a generous amount of wine into the glass, she lifted it up and took a long sip.

"Here's to a new beginning…. Here's to finding myself." Arizona said as she held the glass up in front of her face, into the empty air.

Once she had a snack, and managed to polish off the entire bottle of wine, she ventured into the shower and changed for bed. When her head hit the pillow, she lay there looking at the flashing "Joes Place" light across the street. Her eyes grew heavier with every flash of the light that poured through her room. She was too tired to get up and pull the drapes, so instead she lay there watching it flash repeatedly until sleep began to take over. Tomorrow she would go apply at the hospital her old boss and friend had recommended. Nobody knew about Arizona moving to Seattle except for Wanda, her old boss, and herself. Luckily Wanda had already spoken to the chief at Seattle Grace, and he would be expecting her tomorrow morning. So for now, sleeping in a bed without HER there was already her greatest achievement in years.

A/N 2: Ok guys…. Hit me! Let me know what you think! You're review are what will determine if I keep going, or trash it. Lemme have it! Thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

~Searching For Myself~

CHAPTER 2

There she stood. Outside of the hospital, watching all of the people going in and out in a steady flow. Arizona always loved working in a hospital. Since the first day she did her clinical hours in med school, she was consumed with the place. She loved the never stopping hustle of doctors and nurses. She loved the smell of the sterile OR's. And once she declared her specialty to pediatrics, she loved the interaction with the kids of all ages. Even though she didn't save them all, and some days were ten times worse than the others, she loved her job. And that was the only constant in her life. The only thing that _she_ hadn't managed to take away from her.

_Flashback to 8 months ago_

"_Arizona? Are you home?" Joanne asked as she walked through the doors to their upscale condo in downtown NY._

_Arizona heard her voice, and automatically cringed at the sound. She was sitting at a desk in their study trying to research a procedure that she was considering for one of her tumor patients but she knew how annoyed Joanne got everytime Arizona was on the internet instead of giving her all of her undivided attention. So with a huff, she closed the lid on the laptop and went in search of her wife. _

"_I'm here. Sorry, I was researching a procedure for tomorrow." Arizona said, apologizing on cue as usual. _

"_It's after 8, did you happen to make any dinner or are we finding for ourselves tonight?" Joanne sat her bag on the dining table and walked towards the bedroom, stripping off her suit jacket as she went. _

_Rolling her eyes, Arizona walked towards the kitchen, her sore leg giving her some trouble after sitting in the desk chair for a couple of hours. "I"ll make something." She called out over her shoulder. _

_She didn't notice Joanne came walking in behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist from behind. _

"_Well, if you had made something instead of being on the internet, then we wouldn't be eating so late now would we?" Joanne said in a sarcastic tone while trying to appear as if she were giving Arizona actual affection. _

"_I'll make us a salad, it won't take but a minute. Go ahead and jump in the shower. By the time you get out, It will be ready." Arizona said before turning in Joanne's arms and placing a forced kiss on her lips. She hated being in any close proximity with the woman, but she knew that if she didn't act at least partially happy, then the fight would be on. _

_Alone in the kitchen, she pulled out the things she needed to make the salad and looked down at the knife in her hands. Her hand was shaking as so many thoughts raced through her mind. With a shake of her head, she got back to work on the salad, finishing just in time as the water from the upstairs shower turned off. _

_Towels. _

_One of the worlds stupidest fights, but yet not something to stupid for Joanne to start an epic battle over. _

"_Arizona where are the damn towels?" Joanne called down from the upper level of their condo. _

"_They are in the dryer, hang on and I'll bring one up."_

_Arizona quickly ran over to the dryer and jerked out a towel before scaling the stairs in a hurry. Knowing that with every passing moment, her wife would become more and more infuriated. _

"_Here you go, they wer—"_

_BAM! _

_Arizona was caught off guard when Joanne's arm made contact with the side of her head, and everything in the room went black as her body met the floor. Then everything was dark. Arizona wished that had been the final blow. The one that had just ended her miserable excuse for a life. But no. A cold splash of water hit her face, drenching her clothes and she snapped back into reality. Into her horrible, disgusting, reality.._

_She knew. If she didn't leave soon, then she wouldn't be leaving in anything other than a stretcher in route to the morgue. She had to get out, and she had to do it sooner than later. _

Present Time –

With a deep breath, she ran her fingers through her hair and stepped inside. Once she walked up to the reception desk, a nice woman asked if she could help her. Arizona quickly introduced herself and let the woman know that the Chief of Surgery would be expecting her. She was pointed towards the elevator and directed to the 7th floor surgical wing.

"Hey, hold the elevator!" A mans voice called out before his arm stretched in and caused the doors to re-open. "Thanks." The man said before leaning over, uncomfortably too close to Arizona, and upon seeing that the 7 button was already pushed he glanced over at the blonde.

"Heading up to the surgical floor?" He asked with a sly grin. "I've never seen you around here before. And I'm certain you're new because I would never forget a..uh… face… like that if I had seen it previously." Mark said while his eyes stayed locked on Arizona's chest.

"Yeah, I'm new to Seattle. I'm here for a meeting with Chief Webber."

"Oh, are you one of those PR chicks? Here to tell him all about the great changes you can make by plastering Derek Sheppards face all over some billboards and sides of busses? Because they have done that already and it didn't rake in the dough like they had predicted." Mark said.

"No. Definitely not in PR. I'm a surgeon. Peds." Arizona said, looking down at her shoes, avoiding any and all eye contact with the over confident man standing next to her.

"Well, if you need a tour of the hospital, I'd be more than happy to oblige. I'm an excellent tour guide." He said with a wink as the chime alerted them of their arrival.

"Thanks anyway, but I can manage." Arizona said before stepping out of the elevator and turning to the right.

"Well blondie… since you can 'manage' so well, just pretend I didn't tell you that you're going the wrong way if your searching for the chief. His office is down this way to the left."

"Oh, Right. I knew that. I must have been thinking about something else."

"Oh yea? Like what? Did I make a good impression already? Mark asked, stepping into Arizona's personal space.

"Sorry, you're not my type. But thanks for the help."

She found the chiefs office and walked and knocked on the door. A loud "COME IN" came from the other side and she silently wished herself luck before entering.

"Torres!" Mark called out across the hall as he caught sight of his friend exiting an exam room.

"What Mark? I'm expected in surgery less than 15 minutes." Callie asked, never looking up from her clip board.

"Well, then you will be glad I used up those 15 minutes wisely. I have something you have GOT to see." He said, pulling the dark haired surgeon by her lab coat.

"Mark where in the hell are we going? I need to be moving in the other direction!" She said, growing annoyed by the second.

"I came to show you…. That." He stopped in front of the conference room window and pointed at the chief, and the insanely beautiful blonde next to him. They were reading over a stack of papers, which looked an awful lot like the ones they had signed when they were hired here.

"Does she… is she… did her?" Callie said, unable to form full sentences while staring at what would have to be the most beautiful woman she had ever laid eyes on.

"H-h-h-h-h-e is right now." Mark mimicked Callie before laughing. "See? Now are you happy I wasted your 15 minutes?"

"Shit!" Callie said loudly as she saw the time on her watch. She had gotten so easily wrapped up in watching Arizona talk to the chief that the time had flown by and she was due in surgery in 3 minutes. "I gotta go. But I will find you after. And we are going to find out who that is." Callie said walking backwards quickly.

"Try not to kill your patient because you're having nasty thoughts about the new blonde surgeon." Mark called out before Callie flipped him the bird and disappeared around the corner.

"Well that should be the last one. I'll show you to the attending's lounge and get you some scrubs. I'll have one of the surgeons show you around today… kinda let you get the feel of the place before we throw you to the lions." Webber said with a laugh.

"That would be great sir. And again.. Thank you. For this job. I won't let you down." Arizona said, extending her hand for a handshake.

"Well Wanda is an old friend of mine, and she couldn't stop listing all the reasons I should hire you. Told me you're the best in your field, so I did some research and found out that you are quite the prize. I'm happy to have you on our team." He said, shaking the blondes hand and then turning to let her change.

"I'll send in one of the surgeons to get you in a moment."

Arizona looked at her scrubs and smiled. She got the job. She knew that this is exactly what she needed to get the ball rolling for her new life. The door flew open and in walked another blonde wearing a scrub cap.

"Hi. I'm Dr. Altman. The chief sent me in to show you around. I have a surgery in an hour, so I'm sorry if we end up having to cut the tour short." Teddy said as she took in the blondes appearance.

"Oh, Dr. Altman. I'm Dr. Robbins. Arizona Robbins. You can call me Arizona." The shorter blonde said with a slight smile.

"Teddy. Everyone calls me Teddy."

The two blondes made their way through the hospital, stopping at different places and showing Arizona where the most important things were and finally ended up climbing steps to the OR gallery.

"This is the gallery. You will find mostly interns in here, trying to get their eyes on the big surgeries, drooling mostly. But sometimes you will find us attendings in here as well. Like today, because of this surgery." Teddy said, pointing down to the OR floor. And that is when she saw her.

The blonde from the market last night. With the hair and the smile and the legs that went on for days.. and the….. Her mental conversation was interrupted when Teddy nudged her arm.

"Let's sit here." She said, pointing to two empty seats behind them.

"Who is that?" Arizona asked, shyly pointing towards Callie.

"That's Dr. Torres. Callie Torres, aka the bone God. She's up for a Harper Avery for her research on cartilage. She made it—"

"From Jello!" Arizona said, finishing her sentence.

"Yeah. How did you know?" Teddy asked with a laugh.

"I read about her online. She already has major distributors lined up wanting to purchase her stuff. And to fund any future research of hers. She's incredible…" Arizona said. Only half referring to her intelligence. She was completely in awe of how beautiful Callie Torres was.

Suddenly Callie looked up towards the gallery, her surgical mask hiding most of her facial features, revealing her dark brown orbs and Arizona's breath caught in her throat. The two women locked eyes and it seemed as if everything and everyone else in the room disappeared. Arizona felt as if Callie could see right through her. She had never felt this was about simply staring at a woman, but it was enough to scare the shit out of her, causing her to stand and make a mad dash out of the gallery.

Teddy sat there, unsure of what to do or say to Arizona's quick departure, so she shrugged her shoulders and looked down at Callie who arched her eyebrows.

Teddy lifted her hands up and shrugged her shoulders in an 'I have no clue' fashion before shaking her head and Callie got back to work.

In the hallway, Arizona rushed through until she found the sign, 'on call' on the door. She pushed it open and fell back against it. She walked over to the bunk bed, slipped off her shoes and climbed in. She needed to disappear for 5 minutes. Everything seemed so overwhelming, and she couldn't afford to screw it up. Not over some obviously hot woman. No, Arizona had just witnessed the power that Callie Torres could have over her, and she knew that she had to stay away from it. She was here to work. To make money and start a life for herself. She couldn't be making goo-goo eyes at some hot, hot… incredibly hot surgeon.

"Dammit!" She said loudly to herself. Before collapsing back and closing her eyes. This was going to be one hell of an obstacle for her.

Her pager interrupted her silent mental battle and she looked down to see a 911 to the pit. So after slipping her shoes on, asking a nurse where the pit was, and hauling ass she made it to where she was needed.

"And who might you be?" A shorter black woman, with a blunt personality asked.

"I'm Dr. Robbins. Peds." Arizona said with a smile, earning an unimpressed look from the smaller woman.

"I'm . And this is your patient now. 9 year old boy, fell out of a tree. Obvious injuries in his left leg and arm. We already paged Ortho and they said eta 5 minutes. They are short today and Torres is scrubbing out now. Should be here any minute." Bailey said, not noticing Arizona's hard swallow.

Arizona pulled herself together and took the chart from Bailey's hand. Looking down and reading over the chart, she head the curtain pull open behind her.

"What do we got?" Callie asked from behind the blonde.

Arizona turned around, and once again was met with those gorgeous eyes.

"9 year old superhero. Thought he could fly." Arizona said, offering a small smile.

"Well Mr. Superhero. I'm Dr. Torres and I'm going to check out your leg first ok? Can I do that?" She asked, while sliding the stool over next to the boy.

Arizona sat back quietly, only speaking when necessary. Watching the ease Callie had in speaking to the boy. She noticed the way her eyes lit up when she smiled, and the way she touched his arm gently to show him that he had nothing to be afraid of.

Arizona was lost in her own little world, and didn't hear Callie speaking to her.

"Um… Doctor?"

"Robbins." Arizona said, snapping back into reality.

"Well, Dr. Robbins. We need to book an OR, looks like we will need to reset his arm and then have an intern cast him up." Callie said, signing the chart and handing it over to Arizona. "Kepner! Book an OR, and put Dr. Robbins and myself on there. Stat."

"See you in there.. Dr. Robbins." Callie said with a wink, before walking out.

Did she just wink at me? No. I must be seeing things. There's no way in hell she was flirting with me. She has got to be the straightest woman ever. Right?

Arizona was lost. How was she supposed to stand in an or with Callie for however long and not look like a love sick teenager? Great….


	3. Chapter 3

~Searching For Myself~

CHAPTER 3

"Good work today Dr. Robbins. I knew that I wouldn't be disappointed with my decision to hire you." Chief Webber said before walking out of the scrub room, leaving both Callie and Arizona alone for the very first time.

"Thank you sir." Arizona called out to his retreating form.

"You are amazing." Callie said, causing Arizona to blush.

"Thanks. You weren't bad yourself. To be honest I was a little nervous being in there with you."

"Why? I don't bite." Callie said with a wink.

"Uh umm" Clearing her throat, and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, Arizona looked down at her feet. "I meant I have heard about your work. You're incredible. And quite intimidating to be honest. But it was an honor to be scrubbing in with you. I hope we can do it again sometime."

"You're a great surgeon too. So, what brought you to Seattle? The beautiful beaches? The sunny skies and warm weather?" Callie said with a laugh.

"Just needed a breather. And my old boss recommended here and spoke really highly of the hospital." Arizona said, pulling her scrub cap off, her eyes once again focusing on the floor.

"You're not really into eye contact are you? That or you really find your shoes interesting." Callie said, stepping a little closer to Arizona.

Arizona noticed the change in proximity and felt herself step away, keeping the door behind her for an easy exit.

"Well I uh, better get going. Have to check on my patients before heading out. You have a great night, Dr. Torres."

"Callie. Call me Callie."

"Arizona." The blonde said, pulling the door open, but once again stopped by Callie's voice.

"Well Arizona. Some of the others and myself are getting together at the bar a couple blocks down. It's called Joe's place. It's nothing fancy, but the drinks are good and the company is decent. You should stop by if you don't have plans."

"Thanks, but I have some research to do on a patient. Thank you for the invite though. Maybe another time." Arizona said, and then she was gone.

Arizona was changing in the lounge when Teddy came walking in.

"So, how was your first day? Was everyone on their best behavior?" Teddy asked with a smile as she sat down and unlaced her shoes.

"It was great. Thanks. And I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to thank you for the tour. I appreciate it though. I was just on my way out. But I'll see you tomorrow?" Arizona asked.

"Sure thing. Have a good night Arizona."

"You too."

And with that, Arizona was gone. She made her way down the street towards her new temporary home. Once she climbed the three flights of stairs, she let her body collapse on the lumpy bed. She flipped on the tv as she sat up and began to strip out of her clothes. She walked into the restroom and turned on the shower to let the water heat up. In this place, hot was took forever to heat up, and a second to disappear. Stepping under the spray of the shower, she soaped up her loofa and washed over her tired muscles. But far too quickly, the water began to run cold, so she pulled down her towel and tied it around her body. The sound of the news on the television filled the room, and she sat down on her bed, combing her wet hair.

The sky had grown completely dark by this point, and the steady flash of "Joes Place" sign lit her room much like it had for the previous night. Only this time, it caught her attention more after Callie had invited her. Standing, she walked over to the window and looked down at the people down below, smoking outside of the bar. She looked down at her bruises, how they had already begun to fade. Even when they disappear, they would always be there in her mind she thought. Who would possibly be interested in someone who was this broken? Why would anyone, especially the amazing Callie Torres, be interested in her? Hell, she couldn't even make her marriage work. She went to the restroom and flipped on the light. Wiping off the mirror with her hand, she took in her appearance. She was still pretty. She had dimples, beautiful eyes. Legs that went on for days. She was hot. Or she had once thought so at least. She momentarily wondered if she would ever think of herself as that once again. Joanne used to tell her that. In the beginning. But now Arizona knew that it had all been part of her plot. Her game to get Arizona roped in. And once she had her, all of the sweet gestures, flowers and romance disappeared into thin air.

Shutting off the light, she stepped back into her room and walked over to her small bag. All she had was a pair of jeans, and a sweater, but she figured it would work just as good. She slipped them on, picked up her room key and before giving herself time to change her own mind, she walked out the door. It didn't take her long to be standing in front of Joe's having a silent debate with herself about weather or not she should go inside, or disappear back to her hotel and forget this ever happened. But before she was lucky enough to escape, she was spotted.

"Arizona? I thought that was you." Teddy said, walking up with an Asian woman. "This is Cristina Yang. She works at the hospital with us. Cristina, this is Arizona Robbins, our new head of Ped's."

"Pleasure I'm sure." Cristina said dryly. "Are we going in to get some drinks or did you want to have a meet and greet outside?"

"Don't mind her. She's not sure how to properly converse with people. Let's go in." Teddy said, brushing off Cristina's comments.

"Oh, I was just passing by, I wasn't—" Arizona attempted to retreat, but wasn't successful.

"Don't be silly. The whole crew is here. Come on. Just have one drink, and I promise if you're miserable, I'll cover for you while you sneak out." Teddy said, lacing her arm through Arizona's.

"Ok, one drink." Arizona agreed finally.

Stepping inside, she took in the place. It wasn't anything fancy, just as Callie had described, but it had a certain welcoming appeal to it. Everyone was standing around, lost in their own conversations, playing darts or pool, dancing or simply sitting and talking. It reminded her of a place she used to hang out at during her med school years. Back when she had met Joanne. Ugh, she had to block that entire name out of her memory. Joanne was the past, and now she needed to move forward. Arizona was following Teddy and Cristina through the crowd of people, and heard a man's voice calling out Teddy's name.

"Teddy! Cristina! Over here." A tall, red headed man said.

Cristina walked over to him first, and he gave her a small kiss on the lips, before handing her some sort of shot. It appeared to be tequila, which the woman tossed back easily.

"Who's your friend?" Jackson Avery asked.

"Oh, this is Arizona Robbins. She is the new head of peds at the hospital. She's new… so be..nice." Teddy said, looking more in the direction of Cristina and Meredith. "Arizona, this is um.. everyone. Mark, and his girlfriend Lexie. Owen and Cristina. Alex and Jo. Derek and Meredith. And.. Callie."

Everyone said hello, but Arizona was careful not to make an eye connection with Callie. She knew that if she did, her obvious interest in the woman would be known to everyone. So instead, she leaned over to Teddy and asked her if she would like a drink.

"I'm going to get a drink. You want anything?" Arizona said loud enough to be heard over the music.

"Sure. Get me a martini. Dry." Teddy said, taking a seat at the empty stool next to the table.

"Anyone else want a drink? I'm headed that way as well." Callie said, quickly standing.

Arizona looked sideways at Callie as she took the drink order from a few of her friends. The woman was stunning in the simplest of clothing. She was wearing a dark pair of jeans, with a tight, low cut green blouse. It did wonders for her cleavage and made Arizona's mind move 100mph.

"You mind if I walk with you?" Callie leaned over and asked, causing Arizona to snap her head up hoping she hadn't just been caught.

"Sure." Arizona said.

The two women placed their order, and stood together in awkward silence while they waited.

"So, what do you think?" Callie asked, motioning towards the crowded bar.

"It's nice. I mean, everyone seems pretty inviting." The blonde said, playing with a napkin in her hands.

"We like to come here when we have had a really bad day. Or when a surgery goes wrong. Hell, even when we have had good days and the surgeries went right. I guess we come here to often really." Callie said with a smile.

"You all seem pretty close."

"We are. I mean when you spend the amount of hours working together with the same people all the time, it's almost impossible not to get to know each other. We have formed some type of family I guess. One seriously, dysfunctional family.. but a family none the less. How about you? Any family?" Callie asked.

"Oh, uh. Yeah. Well, I did. My parents live in Colorado, and I had a brother… but he died serving our country." The blonde said, her eyes becoming a little glassy.

"I'm sorry to pry. I didn't mean to upset you." Callie said, placing her hand on Arizona's shoulder for comfort.

"It's fine. It was a long time ago. I just don't like to talk about him. What about you? Any siblings?" Arizona asked, shocked with herself for making the conversation continue.

"Yeah, a younger sister. But she's a real piece of work. My parents are in Florida, they own some hotels there, so they are pretty much always busy. My sister is working for them, she never head an ambition to go out and try to make something for herself. Instead she stays under daddy's thumb in hopes of him turning over the company to her one day. Which he probably will, considering I have no desire to go into the hotel franchise." Callie rambled.

Arizona couldn't help but think how adorable Callie looked while talking about her family. She thought she was cute no matter what she was talking about. She was just about to respond when the bartender placed a tray of drinks in front of them. Arizona reached into her pocket book to pull out some cash, but Callie was quicker than she. She slid the money on the bar and said, "Keep the change Joe."

"I could have paid for my drink. Thank you though." Arizona said with a smile.

"Hey, look at it as a welcome to the family kind of drink. You're going to need it if you plan to hang with this crowd. Come on, let's get back." Callie said, leading the way back towards their table and their overly loud group of friends.

The next few hours were spent watching the group of doctors laughing and talking about work. They all seemed to be pretty nice people, and Arizona thought that maybe she could get used to being around them. Friends were important. Of course she didn't plan on going into any details about her previous life, but telling people just enough about her would be enough. After several drinks, watching a few games of darts and sharing some drinks Arizona stood to up and reached for her coat.

"Hey. You heading out?" Teddy asked.

"Yeah, I am pretty tired. Didn't get much sleep last night. I'm going to call it a night. Thanks for showing me a great time. I really enjoyed myself." Arizona said.

"Where are you staying?" Teddy asked.

"Oh, uh.. just a little place. Not too far from here.

"Do you want me to walk with you?" Teddy asked.

"No! I'm fine. Thanks. You stay and enjoy yourself. I"ll see you tomorrow." Arizona said, happy that she had managed to avoid the walk home and Teddy seeing where she was living.

"Ok, see you tomorrow." Teddy said before Arizona made her way out of the bar.

She was almost across the street, when she heard a voice calling her name. She didn't want anyone to see her entering the hotel across the street, so she walked towards the other direction. It wasn't until the sound grew louder and Arizona turned around coming face to face with Callie once again.

"H-hey." Callie said, out of breath from the fast paced walk, trying to catch Arizona. "I hoped I would have caught you before you were gone. I didn't get to say goodnight."

"Oh. Well, Goodnight Callie. Thank you for a great evening." Arizona said.

"You're welcome. I had a great time too. Goodnight."

Arizona turned to walk away, but she could feel Callie staring at her retreating form. Surely, she turned around and Callie was looking right at her. Leaning against the brick wall of a building, with her arms across her chest. Arizona couldn't help but blush at the woman. She gave one last wave, and continued to walk down the street to nowhere in particular. She hoped Callie wouldn't stay there too long, because she really wanted to get back to her room and that wasn't possible with Mrs. Hotness watching her.

Luckily, after a few more moments, she turned to find Callie had walked back into the bar. She made a quick dash to the hotel. She scaled the stairs quickly, and disappeared into her room. She quickly moved over to the window and peeked out of the blind just in time to see Callie, Mark and Lexie walk out. Mark had his arm around Lexie's shoulders. And Callie hugged herself, rubbing her arms to get warm. Arizona rested her head against the window frame and watched Callie. She wanted to get to know this woman, she really did. But fear was something that was incredibly powerful. Arizona didn't trust people very easily. And after everything she had been through, you could understand why. But she had a gut feeling that there was something different about Callie Torres, and frankly it scared the shit out of her.


	4. Chapter 4

~Searching for Myself~

CHAPTER 4

"Secure that clamp and then suction. We should have been finished up 20 minutes ago." Callie said to the intern assisting on her surgery.

It wasn't long and they were finished up with their surgery, and Callie walked towards the waiting room to inform the family of the news. Her patient would be able to have a complete recovery. She loved days like this, when she had nothing but good news for the families. So after she put their minds at ease, she changed her direction towards the cafeteria. She was in desperate need of a coffee.

She stood in line, waiting for her turn when she saw Arizona and Teddy sitting at a table, laughing about something one had said. She paid for her coffee and started to walk towards their table when suddenly Mark appeared in front of her.

"Hey Torres. Wait until you see the woman that came in today! She wants—" Mark began, but noticed that Callie wasn't paying any attention to his words. "Wings. Implanted right there on the side of her ribcage so she can jump off 20 story buildings and coast across the sky."

"That's great Mark. Sounds interesting. I'm sure you'll be great." Callie said, still staring at the blonde and obviously unsure of a word her best friend had just said.

"What's so interesting…" Mark said, turning in the direction that held Callie's attention. "Ohhhh, now I get it. Somebody has the hots for blondie." Mark said.

"Mark, be quiet. I do not have the 'hots' for Arizona. Sure, I can appreciate a beautiful woman just as much as the next person, but that doesn't mean I have a thing for her." Callie said, attempting to come off less interested than she truly was.

"Uh huh. Sure. Well, anyway, are you going to the meeting? I'm headed that way now if you want to walk together."

Callie had only turned her head to focus on Mark for a minute and when she looked back towards the table to find that Arizona and Teddy were no longer there. She tried to see them, but they were already gone.

"So do you wanna walk together or what? We're going to be late if we don't leave soon." Mark said.

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go." Callie said, joining in step with Mark as they walk towards the conference room.

Stepping inside, they notice that all the other attendings and some of the 5th year interns were there as well.

"Come in everyone. Take a seat if you can find one. We need to make this short and sweet. We have a lot of surgeries on the board today. Let's get down to business." Chief Webber said.

Callie saw Arizona sitting next to Teddy and Alex, and ended up sitting across from them next to Meredith Grey. She couldn't help but watch the blonde in amazement. She couldn't explain why she was so interested in getting to know more about her, but she did. She was pulled out of her daze when the chief continued.

"As you know, it's time for the annual Attending's conference. They are holding it in Los Angeles this year and I have to send several of my surgeons this year. So that is why there are so many of you residents in here today. You will be expected to step up and really hold the reigns while your superiors are out of town. I expect things to run just as smoothly while they are away."

Cristina and Meredith smiled and whispered something before standing.

"Attendings, meet with my secretary and she will give you your instructions for your trip. I expect everyone to be on their best behavior while you are representing this hospital. Now, you are all excused." The chief concluded.

Everyone started to walk out, and Callie stepped in line behind Arizona.

"Hey. You excited about the conference?" Callie asked the blonde.

"Uh, yeah. They are always pretty interesting. How about you?" Arizona asked, stepping to the side as they exited the conference room, allowing the others room to pass by.

"A trip away from Seattle for a couple of days to a place filled with beaches and sunshine? I'm always up for that." Callie said.

"Well, we should get to the office and get the information." Arizona said awkwardly. She wasn't sure what to say or how to act around Callie. Whenever they talked alone, Arizona felt like a love sick teenager. She always had trouble finding her words, much less putting them in the right order.

The two women walked together, mostly in silence. Once they were inside the office, they picked up their travel packets and the sounds of pagers going off caused them all to part ways. Callie had hoped to talk to Arizona a little more, maybe ask her to lunch, but the life of a surgeon never stops so she surrendered to the idea of asking her another time. She hoped that she could find her after her consult and see if they could get together for a drink after work.

The rest of the day went by entirely too fast. Callie was pulled from on surgery to another. The realization of the lack of Ortho surgeons at this hospital hit her full force. She loved her job. She appreciated her job… but she couldn't do the job of 3 people on her own. And today she felt as if she had been hit by a train. Earlier she had wanted to find Arizona, ask her out for a drink but now? All she wanted to do now was go home, take a hot bath, and bury herself so deeply in her bed that no one would be able to find her for the entire weekend. Of course she knew that wasn't possible. They only had one day before they had to leave for California and she had laundry and packing to do.

Pushing open the door to her apartment door, 4 hours later than she had expected, she tossed her keys on the counter and walked towards her refrigerator. She pulled out a bottle of water and chugged it down. Flipping on the tv, she plopped down on the couch and kicked her feet up on the coffee table. She leaned back and closed her eyes for a moment when her front door swung open and caused her to jump.

"Torres? Why are you laying around? I thought we were going to eat?" Mark said.

"First of all. Do you know how to knock? Second of all, don't you have a girlfriend that can go out to dinner with you? I am beyond tired and all I want to do is sit right here on my couch, watch the news and go to bed. So, walk back across the hall and close the door behind you." Callie said, leaning back again and closing her eyes.

"Geez. You need to get laid. And soon." Mark said, walking out and shutting the door just as Callie had told him.

"Love you too Mark." She called out.

She stood up and walked towards her restroom and shut the door behind her.

"Yeah, can I order a medium pizza please? Just pepperoni." Arizona said into the receiver of her hotel room phone. She was entirely too tired to go out to pick something up, and she didn't feel like eating another snack out of a box. She had been surviving on cafeteria food as of late, but she was too busy today to pick anything up. She hung the phone up and picked up the newspaper she had grabbed and started looking through the for sale/rent pages. She decided that she needed to start looking for a place as soon as she came back from LA so she needed to start somewhere.

A soft knock on her door made her jump. She had no idea who could possibly be at her door and fear instantly kicked in. Joanne had found her. She was certain of it. She knew that she would eventually. She felt her whole body shake as she slowly peeked through the peep hole in the door. But when she caught sight of Teddy standing there she breathed out a deep sigh of relief.

Opening the door, she stepped back as the blonde walked past her quickly.

"So this is where you have been hiding huh?" Teddy said, walking over to the small table and setting a bag down.

"How did? Where? Who told you where I was staying at?" Arizona asked, confusion being her only emotion.

"I saw you walk in here after work. I didn't have your phone number so I took a chance and picked up some Chinese from down the street and came here. I asked the lady at the front desk if you were staying here and she said your name was an easy one to remember. She rambled something about some guy named Sam, and hot blondes too. So I kind of got thrown off. But eventually some show on tv caught her attention and she sent me up to your room. I hope you don't mind. I figured you need a friend in this town as much as I do." Teddy finished with a smile.

Arizona was caught of guard, sure. But she couldn't help but smile because Teddy was right. Having a friend was nice. She figured it wouldn't hurt anything and frankly she was lonely too.

"Of course I don't mind. I just ordered a pizza though, so you're welcome to some. Don't mind the mess though, I haven't had much time to clean up." Arizona said, grabbing a pair of jeans and bra from the back of the chair and tossing them into the corner.

"Doesn't room service clean up for you?" Teddy said with a laugh.

"Does it look like they have a large staff at their disposal?" Arizona said, laughing along with her.

"So. I heard we are going to be roommates at the conference. Did you look through your packet yet? We won't get to sit together on the plane, but we will be sharing a room." Teddy said, opening a container of rice and digging in before laying down across Arizona's bed with her shoes kicked off.

Arizona mimicked her actions and then joined her across the bed. It had been longer than she could even remember since she was able to just kick back and have a conversation with someone. To laugh, and talk without worrying about saying or doing something to set the other person off.

"So, since you aren't sitting next to me on the plane, would you like to know who you _are _sitting by?" Teddy said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Who?" Arizona said, her fork stopping before touching her lips, and hanging there in dead air.

"Oh, just Callie." Teddy said with a wink.

Arizona felt herself blush. Even at the mention of Callie's name she couldn't help but get excited. And this time the way Arizona acted at the mention of Callie's name, Teddy caught on.

"I knew it!" Teddy said loud enough to cause Arizona to slightly jump. "You like Callie!"

"I do not even know Callie. You're being silly."

"Sure. Sure. Well, you will after this trip. You guys are in 3 of the skill building classes together. Geez woman, haven't you even looked at the itinerary yet?"

Arizona really hadn't looked at it. And honestly now she was even more afraid to do so. How would she be able to keep her distance from a woman that was being placed at every obstacle? She went over to her bag and pulled out the envelope with the trip information. She flipped through the pages and found the schedule Teddy was referring to. Sure enough, there was her name next to Callie's at the class schedule. She let out a huff.

"So, Dr. Robbins…. Tell me I'm wrong now." Teddy said.

Arizona couldn't say a word. Because she didn't want to admit out loud that Teddy was right. She did like Callie. She liked her way more than a person should at this point in knowing them. But there was something about her that was just so irresistible. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle this trip, but one thing was for sure. She had to be strong. Stronger than she had ever been before. She was her own worst enemy at this point.

MORNING OF THE TRIP

The group of surgeons were all sitting in the waiting area by their flight gate. Arizona and Teddy were going over their packets, while Derek and Mark talked about the football game the previous night. Callie came walking up with Addison and handed everyone a coffee she had bought for them.

They didn't wait long before their flight boarded and everyone found their seats. Arizona was already in her seat by the time Callie came walking up.

"Hey, this is my seat right?" Callie said, noticing Arizona was sitting in the seat that was listed on Callie's ticket.

"Oh, yeah. I uh, was hoping we could trade. I really hate being by the window. The whole fear of hights thing. But I can move if—" Arizona rambled but Callie stopped her.

"No, it's no problem. I prefer the window seat actually. No worries." She said as she slid her bag into the overhead compartment, only keeping out her ipad and earphones. She put on her seatbelt and plugged in the earbuds before looking over and noticing the blonde fidgeting with her seatbelt. Callie could tell Arizona was very nervous. She reached over and placed a hand on Arizona's and gave her a wink. "It will be alright. You want to listen to some music? I know it helps me to not think about the flight so much." Callie said, offering the other half to her headset.

"Thanks." Arizona said with a shy smile of her own. Arizona's hear was racing. She swore she felt a bolt of electricity run through her body when Callie's hand came into contact with hers, and she was trying her best to act as if she didn't.

The two women leaned back in their seats and let the music play. Arizona was surprised at how accurate Callie was when it came to the music being a distraction. She was so enthralled with the songs that she didn't pay much attention to the plane taking off. And before she knew it, they were thousands of feet in the air and the seatbelt sign was turned off. Although she kept hers secured the entire time, she watched as Callie unbuckled hers and stretched out as much as possible in the small space.

She wasn't sure how long they had been in the air, but she felt extremely sleepy. She tried to keep her eyes open, but the urge to close them was too strong. Before she knew it, she was out like a light.

Callie looked over at the blonde and smiled. Arizona looked so adorable sleeping with her mouth slightly parted. She turned back to her ipad and was reading one of her downloaded books when she suddenly felt Arizona's head lean over onto her shoulder. She thought about waking her, but couldn't bring herself to do so. She had to admit that she liked the way it felt to have the blonde so close. She thought to herself that it wouldn't bother her one bit to have her close like this a lot more often. She wanted to get to know the blonde more, and she really hoped that this trip would provide just what she needed to do so….


	5. Chapter 5

~Searching For Myself~

CHAPTER 5

The group of doctors landed in Los Angeles not too long after they took off. They took cabs to the hotel and checked in. Arizona was embarrassed to wake up against Callie's shoulder. She apologized to the dark haired woman for using her as a human pillow, but Callie insisted that it was no imposition.

Callie was putting her clothes into the dresser drawers when Addison came walking out of the restroom.

"Ok Cal, spill it. I was out of town for 2 weeks, and when I come back there is some hot blonde working here that completely has your attention. So fill me in. When are you going to ask her out?" Addison said while pouring herself a drink from the in suite bar.

"Whoa, wait. Who said I was planning to ask Arizona out? She just moved here, and I don't even know her that well." Callie said, faking shock.

"Give me some credit here. It's not like I just met you today. I see the way you look at her. And not to mention, when I walked past the two of you on the plane on my way to the restroom, you were staring at her like a horny teenage boy."

"Ok, so maybe she is hot. Really hot, but that doesn't mean I plan on dating her." Callie said, trying her best to throw Addison off her scent.

"Right. Ok. Then I guess you wouldn't mind if I asked Arizona to switch rooms with me right? I mean Teddy is pretty cool and I was hoping to get to know her a little better. But that would mean you and Arizona would have to bunk together. Since you aren't interested in her then it shouldn't be awkw—"

"Addison Montgomery! If you try and switch rooms, I promise I will do evil, horrible, painful things to you and you will need every doctor at this conference to put you back together. So, don't even think about it." Callie said, squinting her eyes and pointing her finger towards the redhead.

Addison couldn't even respond through her laughter. Callie's cheeks were beet red and she looked as if she were going to cry.

"Ok. Ok. I'll stay your roomie. But you are sooooo going to tell me more about this new Ped's surgeon."

"Fine. I'll tell you. But you have to promise not to think I'm insane, and you have to SWEAR you will not tell a damn thing to Mark. Because I might as well announce it over the PA at work for that matter." Callie said, throwing herself across her bed and pulling a pillow over her face.

A knock at the door caused Addison to stop asking questions and turn to answer it. She looked through the hole and saw the two women who had been the topic of conversation. With a smirk she said, "Well speaking of the devil" before opening the door to reveal Teddy and Arizona. Arizona stood, looking down at her feet, obviously nervous.

"Hey there ladies. What's up?" Addison asked before she looked back at Callie who jumped up and ran her hands down her body to straighten her clothes.

"We were just headed down to the lounge to grab something to eat, and I told Arizona that we should stop by here and see if you guys wanted to join us." Teddy said, making her eyes wide at Addison.

Addison knew exactly what Teddy was up to, and she smiled as she thought that this was a perfect idea.

"Great! We were just talking about going to eat."Addison replied.

"We were?" Callie said with confusion.

"Yep." The redhead continued. "Come on in, just give us 2 minutes to get ready and we will go down together."

Addison and Callie both walked into the restroom and Callie quickly shut the door before giving Addison a look that could kill.

"What were you thinking Addy?! We are NOT going to eat with them!" Callie whispered.

"Callie, we have to go. I already told them that we would. And now we would look plain rude. Do you want that?" Addison said with a sarcastic tone and evil grin.

"If you leave me alone with Arizona Addison, I swear our friendship is over." Callie said, trying her best to sound threatening.

"Scouts honor." Addison said with a smile.

"You weren't even a damn girl scout so I know you're so full of shit. Ugh! Let's go!" Callie said as she jerked the door open.

"Shall we?" Addison said, before opening the door and letting the 3 ladies pass.

Teddy and Addison walked quite a bit ahead, purposely leaving Callie and Arizona to walk alone behind them.

"I'm sorry they are dragging us along. I'm sure you would rather be in your room relaxing." Callie said to the blonde.

Blue eyes looked up to meet brown and Arizona smiled.

"It's fine. Really. I'm glad we are having dinner together. The uh, for of us, I meant. Not you and me, but Teddy and Addison to, they seem—" Arizona said in a panic induced ramble.

Callie held her hand up to stop the woman from going further.

"Arizona, I knew what you meant. I know this isn't some kind of date." Callie laughed. "But I'm glad we are having dinner together too."

They all found a table in the hotel restaurant and ordered a round of drinks. They made small talk and enjoyed the sounds of the jazz band that was playing on the dancefloor. A group of men came walking over and asked them to dance. Arizona and Callie both made reasons and politely declinded, while Teddy and Addison happily accepted.

Callie didn't miss the way Addison leaned her head to the side, telling Callie to ask Arizona to dance. She ignored her at first and turned to face Arizona.

"Looks like they will be gone for a while. Addison loves to dance." Callie said before taking a sip from her drink.

"I love to dance too. But the ones asking were definitely not my type." Arizona said without thinking first. "I mean, I uh. Nevermind." She looked down at her drink and nervously stirred it with the straw.

"I love to dance too. And they weren't my type either. Would you ummm, like to dance with me?" Callie said, giving it a shot and throwing caution to the wind.

Arizona looked up, prepared to decline Callie's invitation as well, but when her eyes locked with Callie's, she lost all her strength to fight this connection. At least for right now. Right now she wanted to be in Callie's arms, swaying to the soft music.

"I'd love to." She said, catching Callie off guard.

"Really?" Callie asked again.

"Yes."

Callie didn't say another word. Instead she stood from her chair and extended her hand for Arizona to take. The electricity returned for both women when Arizona's hand found a perfect fit in Callie's as she was led towards the dancefloor. Callie took Arizona's arms and wrapped them around her neck, before placing her own on the blonde's hips. She looked over Arizona's shoulder and saw Addison giving her a thumbs up and a mega watt smile before rolling her eyes.

Callie and Arizona didn't say a word, but their bodies spoke volumes. They started out with enough space to fit another person between them, but by the time the song came to an end, they were pressed as close together as humanly possible. Callie's chin rest against Arizona's forehead and when the song stopped, they both stood there, completely motionless for a few seconds before pulling apart to go back to their table.

Arizona excused herself to the ladies room, while Callie walked over to the bar to order another drink. Once she got the drinks, she turned to see if Arizona was back at the table. She frowned when she didn't see her and turned to scan the room. She saw Arizona walking out onto the terrace of the bar and didn't allow herself time to change her mind. Instead she followed the same path the blonde had just taken.

Stepping outside, she held the two drinks in her hand and silently watched Arizona. The wind blew her hair back, as Arizona lifted her chin up to inhale the fresh air. The hotel was positioned right on the beach and the sound of the waves filled the air.

"Hey." Callie said softly, coming to a stop right behind Arizona.

Arizona whipped around, and instantly smiled when she saw who had joined her.

"Hey yourself. Sorry for disappearing. I was just trying to get some fresh air."

"I hope I'm not intruding." Callie said, offering Arizona the glass of wine.

Arizona didn't say anything, she just smiled and accepting the drink. Both women turned and leaned against the rail to watch the waves.

"You know, I used to think to myself that California would be the best place to live. I told my parents that I wanted to grow up and be a famous actress on some major tv medical drama show. To be rich and go to all the big Hollywood parties. It's crazy how things can turn out so totally opposite from what you imagined as a kid." Callie said while looking straight forward.

Arizona was staring at her, smiling as she listened. She could easily picture Callie as someone on the big screen. She definitely had the looks and the personality for it.

"I wanted to be an advertising executive. I wanted to be the one to design the covers of sexy magazines and have people catering to me and riding around in limo's to big meetings." Arizona said.

Callie couldn't help but laugh at that one. She couldn't imagine Arizona in that profession. She pictured a school teacher, or a veterinarian but an advertising exec? Not hardly.

"What's so funny?" Arizona asked, giving Callie a nudge.

"I'm sorry. I just can't picture that. You seem so sweet, and so quiet. Soft spoken even. And most of those people are insanely pushy and well… mean." Callie explained.

"Probably why I ended up in Ped's then huh?" Arizona asked with a laugh.

"So what made you decide to give up the lifestyles of the rich and famous and settle for a plain ole doc?" Callie asked.

"Well, it was because of my mothers friends actually. When I was 16, I used to babysit my mom's friends daughter. Her name was Katie Foster. I watched her every Thursday while her parents went to the beach club. Well one night, I was in my room getting ready to head over to their house when my mom knocked on my door. She told me that the Fosters were at the hospital and that they wouldn't need me to babysit that day. Of course, my first reaction was to jump for joy at the sudden night of freedom, but I could see a look on my mothers face that told me that something was seriously wrong. When I asked, I instantly wished I hadn't. She told me that Katie had leukemia and that things were getting worse. They weren't sure if she was going to make it." Arizona said. Stopping to take a long sip of her drink. Callie remained silent, waiting for the rest of the story.

"Is she? Did she make it?" Callie finally asked, hoping to push her along.

"She died a little over a week later. I watched the doctors and nurses work with her. I spent hours after school there, just watching tv with her, or doing my homework while she slept. I decided right then and there that I was going to become a Pediatric Surgeon. I told myself that I would grow up and become some famous surgeon that could cure cancer. Sure, I didn't know how incredibly insane that thought was, but I'm still not done trying to become that surgeon one day."

Callie was so wrapped up in Arizona's story, that she didn't notice herself getting closer with each word. When Arizona had finished, she was standing close enough to feel her breathe against her lips. She reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind Arizona's ear. She looked into her eyes and whispered, "You will become that one day. You're incredible Arizona." Callie said so softly, only Arizona could hear. Their eyes moved from lips, to eyes, back to lips as their heads moved closer together. Arizona's eyes locked on Callie's mouth as she licked her lips, and they slowly parted. They were just millimeters apart when the door swung open and Teddy and Addison came out.

"There you guys are! We were looking everywhere for you!" Addison said loudly. Both Callie and Arizona backed away as if they had just been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Their friends were talking 90 miles per hour about the two guys they had been dancing with and didn't notice the way the two women continued to stare at each other.

Arizona knew without a doubt that if Teddy and Addison hadn't interrupted, she would be wrapped in Callie's arms right now, experiencing the kiss of her dreams. That much she was sure of. But she didn't know exactly how to handle that bit of reality. She listened to the women talk, but she didn't really hear a word. Instead, she remained with her eyes locked on her. This was going to be one hell of a trip.


	6. Chapter 6

~Searching For Myself~

CHAPTER 6

"Let's find our seats people. We need to get the show on the road." The speaker at the conference said to all the doctors. People shuffled around and found their assigned seats, and Callie smiled when she saw that her seat was next to Arizonas.

She took her seat and offered a soft smile to Arizona. They didn't get a chance to talk anymore after Teddy and Addison joined them last night, but they both spent several hours staring at their ceilings and thinking about the other.

An hour had passed as the speaker told them all about the conference, and gave them the information they would need for the next two days.

"We are going to break for lunch, and we all need to be back here at 1pm. You have a copy of your schedules, and make sure to stop and pick up your nametags at the front desk." The older woman said before people began to stand and walk around the room. Mark and Derek were nowhere to be seen and Teddy and Addison disappeared before the other two doctors could catch up to them. When they finally reached the hallway, they looked around in search of their friends, but didn't see them.

"I think they ditched us." Callie said, turning back to Arizona.

"I think so too."

"So, what do you say we grab a bite to eat? We have those meal vouchers so we can eat practically anywhere we want, on the hospitals dime." Callie said with a smile.

"Okay, sounds good." Arizona said, feeling butterflies swarming in her stomach at the thought of going to lunch, alone, with Callie.

The two women walked down the streets near the hotel that the conference was being held at until they found a small sushi bar. After asking Arizona if the place would be ok, they entered and were seated rather quickly.

"What can I get you two ladies to drink?" The waiter asked promptly.

Callie motioned for Arizona to go first.

"I'll have an ice water with lemon please." She said.

"I'll have the same." Callie added before the man nodded and promised to return quickly.

They both sat there, looking over the menu, unsure of how to strike up conversation. After the drinks were brought to the table, and they placed their food orders, they went back to the awkward silence. Until Callie decided to speak first.

"You know. I decided to become a doctor because of a trip to the museum when I was 9. I knew then that I wanted to study bones. Everything about them fascinated me." Callie began, smiling to herself as she relived the memory.

"What happened at the museum?" Arizona asked. She was truly interested in why Callie had decided to become a doctor.

"You know how they have those huge skeletons of the dinosaurs at the museum? Well on the tour, there was one being built, and they had those yellow rope things blocking off the area. My class was looking at another exhibit, but I was drawn to the blocked off area and managed to slip away without my teacher noticing."

"Ah, the escape artist. I can see you doing that." Arizona said with a smile.

Callie laughed, and then continued. "Well I was standing there, watching them in complete amazement. The way they studied each piece before placing it exactly where it went had me in complete awe. I didn't know what it was about the bones, but the way they had their place…. The way they fit together and formed this magical structure was breathtaking. I wanted to be able to do that. And when they were in the middle of putting this enormous puzzle together, they came to a point where one of the bones was missing. You know how they use a man made bone in its place, and it's a different color? Well I thought, how cool would it be if there was a way to do that with people. People who had been in an accident and their bone had been destroyed, and the only way to fix them was to build a bone yourself. I wanted to be that person."

"Is that what fueled your passion to create cartilage from scratch?" Arizona asked.

"That's the very reason. I don't like being told that something is impossible. When I was young, hell.. even now, if someone says that I cannot do something… it pushes me to do it anyhow. There were so many times when I wanted to give up… to wash my hands of the research because it seemed impossible. Because that is what people were saying. That is couldn't be done. But the more they discouraged me, the harder it pushed me to succeed."

"I can't imagine how it felt when you did it. I bet it was amazing." Arizona said.

"When it happened, I stood there for longer than I can remember. Just staring at it. I was alone in the lab and I couldn't move. My pager had went off, but yet I was frozen in that spot. I couldn't process what was happening. I had spent more hours in there than I could count, and truly I didn't think it would ever work. Mark came busting in when I wasn't responding to the pages and that's what finally snapped me out of it. We celebrated so hard that night. It was something I will never forget." Callie said, just in time for the waiter to show up with their food.

"You're amazing. I was at my house, reading online and saw your article about the success. My wif—" Arizona began to say before quickly cutting herself off and realizing what she was about to say. "My uh, my friend and I were talking about it and we couldn't believe it. It's quite the achievement." Arizona said, before quickly shoving a bite of food into her mouth, praying that Callie didn't catch what she had begun to say.

If she had, she pretended not to. Callie didn't question her, nor did she try to get Arizona to finish what she had said. They two women finished eating their lunch, and made light conversation. Mostly about work, and how Arizona liked Seattle so far. But their hour break came to an end much sooner than Callie would have liked, and they made their way back towards the conference.

The rest of the day was spent listening to several lectures, and going through the skills labs before finishing the day back in the main conference room. They met up with everyone else from their hospital and sat together in the back of the room impatiently keeping an eye on the time, eager to get out and back to the hotel. Arizona couldn't help but think of how it felt like the days back in grade school where you stared at the clock waiting for the bell to ring. And what Callie did next, only made that feeling intensify.

_Go with me for a drink tonight… Yes? No? _

Arizona felt her heart begin to race as the small piece of paper slid across the table towards her and she read it to herself. Her hands were so sweaty that it was hard to hold onto the pen in her hands. She circled an answer, folded it in half, and slid it back across to Callie. As soon as the instructor excused them, she stood up and found Teddy before they walked out together and towards the elevator. Callie tried to catch up with her, but once again she was caught in the back of the crowd as the mass of blonde hair disappeared behind the elevator doors.

Callie and Addison were in their room, changing out of their dress clothes when a knock at their door caused Callie to jump up and almost take flight to answer the door. When she opened it and saw Mark and Derek standing there, she let her shoulders fall. She was hoping that it would have been Arizona, but she should have known better.

"It's just you guys." Callie said, leaving the door standing open so the guys could walk in on their own.

"Gee, thanks for the warm welcoming. I guess you were expecting someone a little more blonde… with a little more breasts." Mark said with a smile before making himself comfortable on Callie's bed.

"No. I wasn't expecting Arizona. I just wasn't exactly looking forward to seeing your mug." Callie said.

"I second that!" Addison said from behind the restroom door.

"Anyway… what are we doing tonight? I heard about this really hot club on the boardwalk, and they are supposed to play some really bad ass music." Mark said, flipping through a magazine he found on the nightstand.

"Ohhh, I'm totally in. I didn't pack my little black dress for nothing. We need to check out the night life here before this trip is over. Maybe we can meet some tone, tanned surfer's. Or surf-ettes?" Addison said with a wink towards her best friend.

"I uh, I'm not really in the clubbing mood." Callie said. She actually loved dancing, but a long night in the club, really wasn't what she had in mind for tonight.

"Oh come on. You seriously don't want to go out with us tonight? No way. You're coming Cal." Mark said, standing up and walking over to his friend.

"Yeah. There's no way we are leaving you here alone." Addison began. Another knock on the door caused her to turn and walk towards it, still lecturing Callie about tonight. "And besides, you're favorite blonde might be there too." She added before opening the door to reveal a solo Teddy.

"Hey guys. Am I intruding?" Teddy asked as she noticed the guys in the room too.

"Come on in Teds. Wait. Where's your sidekick?" Addison asked, peeking out the door and looking both directions down the hallway in search of Arizona.

"Oh she is taking a shower. I mentioned the club that Mark and Derek told me about, but she said that she had other plans. I didn't want to pry, so I got ready and came over. She was in the shower when I left." She explained.

Callie was tip-toing towards the restroom, a towel in hand, hoping to escape unnoticed, but had no luck.

"Callie Torres!" Addison said loudly.

Callie stood there, her eyes squinted shut. Slowly she turned around, knowing full well that she was busted.

"Is the reason you aren't feeling 'up' to going to the club tonight having anything to do with a certain blonde ped's surgeon? Because if not, it's a big coincidence that neither of you feel like going out, but yet you are both showering at the same time. Would you happen to have other 'plans' as well?" Addison asked, using air quotes over the word plans.

Callie rolled her eyes and turned around to face her friends.

"Look guys. Arizona and I were just going to get together for a couple drinks. Nothing big. We just wanted to have some conversation, maybe grab a bite to eat, and then call it an early night." Callie said, giving it her very best shot at convincing them.

"Do you think we are going to scare her off or something? She has to get used to us too Cal. Especially if you two are going to hook up. We're your friends, and we have to approve." Mark said.

"Yes you are my friends. But NO you do not have to approve. You're not my parents, and I'm not bringing a girl home before proposing. This is two people, getting together for drinks. Nothing more. And I don't need any of you scaring her off before I even get a chance to know her better. And… oh nevermind." Callie said as she started to shut the restroom door.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on." Addison said. "What else were you going to say?" She asked.

"Look. I like her ok? I do. And I want to spend more time with her and hopefully she will like me too. But that is impossible if everyone is around, all the time. She is really shy. And she just moved here. I don't want to overwhelm her with everyone hanging out every single time. And, honestly… I want to spend some time with her alone. I love you guys, but I want time alone with Arizona tonight. We will hang out tomorrow night. Promise." Callie finished.

Much to her surprise, Addison and the others dropped the conversation and seemed to accept the fact that Callie wanted to be alone with Arizona. They could have ragged on her or picked at her, but there would be plenty of time for that later. Especially since she knew they would end up together and that would give her endless opportunities to pick on the new couple.

About an hour and a half later, their group of friends had left, ready to hit up the clubs and party their night away in LA and Callie was standing in front of Arizona's hotel room door. She had been there for about 10 minutes, pacing back and forth debating on knocking or running the other way and pretending she had never been here. Even though she was more nervous then she could ever remember being, she made a fist and lifter her hand and knocked 3 times on Arizona's hotel door.

When the door opened, Arizona stood on the other side, wearing a deep blue sweater and jeans. She had her hair pulled up into a braid and Callie couldn't help but smile at how adorable she looked with her hair fixed this way.

"Hey." Arizona said with a soft voice. She was trying her best to not seem so nervous.

"Hey yourself. Are you ready to go?" Callie asked.

"Sure. Let's go." The blonde replied before sliding her room key into her pocked and walked out to join Callie.

Neither woman knew where they were headed. Not literally, but on the 'teenage crush' side. But they did know one thing. They knew that they were excited for tonight. Excited because they were developing feelings for each other and there was nothing they could do now besides hold on and ride the ride.


	7. Chapter 7

Searching For Myself

CHAPTER 7

The two women walked out of the restaurant, after sharing a romantic meal at one of the greatest Italian restaurants in Los Angeles. They were standing on the sidewalk outside waiting on a cab, when Arizona spoke up. Shocking even herself.

"It's such a nice night out. How do you feel about going for a walk?" She asked nervously.

"That sounds nice." Callie said before stepping to the side, for Arizona to lead the way.

They walked down the sidewalk, making small talk, trying their best to hide their nerves. They had been walking for a little over 20 minutes when Callie looked down and before she could talk herself out of it, she reached for Arizona's hand, lacing their fingers together. Arizona's breath caught in her throat, as the bolt of electricity shot through her body at the feeling of Callie's hand against her own.

Callie looked from their hands then back up to Arizona's face and when she got a silent 'ok', she tightened her grip before continuing to walk. They stayed silent for a few moments until Arizona's phone started to ring.

"It's Teddy." Arizona said, looking up at Callie.

"Go ahead and answer it, I don't mind." Callie said, letting go of Arizona's hand so she could reach for her phone in her purse.

"Hello? Yeah, we just finished dinner. I don't know. Let me ask Callie and I'll let you know. Ok Ted's. I said I'll call you back." Arizona said with a laugh before ending the call.

"Everything ok?" Callie asked.

"Yeah. Teddy was just calling to invited us to join them at the club. She said they all met up and are going for some drinks."

"Did you want to go? I don't mind. It's up to you." Callie said.

After a short discussion about meeting up with their friends, they decided that it wouldn't hurt to join them for a couple hours. They took a cab and shortly they were pulling up in front of the club. Callie stepped out first, and reached her hand out to help Arizona exit the cab.

She released the blondes hand, and instantly she missed the way it felt to hold her hand with her own. Arizona was obviously saddened at the loss of contact, but she figured that she wasn't going to push Callie. It was as if Callie could read her mind, so she wanted to clear it up before they went inside.

"I only let go of your hand because I didn't know how you felt about everyone knowing about, uh, us. Or, you know. Not that I'm insinuating that we have anything going on, just-" Callie said.

"Callie, it's fine. I understand. And I am fine with… whatever this is… but I think we should wait until we know exactly what 'this' is before we announce it to your friends." Arizona explained.

"They are our friends. Not just mine. They all like you a lot. And I'm perfectly ok with waiting to see where this goes."

They were in the middle of conversation when Mark appeared outside of the club.

"Hey. We saw you two drive up through the window. We were wondering if you were going to join us, or did you want to keep having your private conversation all night?" Mark said with a laugh.

"We're coming Mark. Let's go." Callie said to the man before stepping back to allow Arizona to walk inside first.

Mark hung back to walk next to Callie. Stopping her completely before they entered the building.

"So? Are you two getting hitched yet? Renting a uHaul? Getting matching name tattoos with little red hearts around it?"

"Seriously? Mark, grow up. And no, we went on ONE date. ONE. And I like her. I am not going to do anything to ruin that. Have a feeling that she has some serious trust issues, and the last thing I want to do is push her too hard and end up pushing her clear away. " Callie explained.

"I for one think that she's pretty great. And you two have my vote. Now let's go get our drinks and then you owe me a dance."

They spent the next few hours dancing and drinking with their group of friends. Callie and Arizona caught themselves on several occasions staring at the other. Even though they were having tons of fun with their friends, they both wished that they had declined the invite and were alone somewhere.

Callie excused herself from her current dart game with Derek and Mark, and made her way towards the women's restroom. On the inside, she used the facilities and then walked over to the sink to wash up. She leaned down and splashed a small bit of cold water on her face. She hadn't had too much to drink, but she was feeling pretty warm and fuzzy. She vaguely heard the door to the restroom swing open, before turning to come face to face with a blonde haired, blue eyed doctor that had been occupying her every thought all night long.

"Don't say a word. I know I am the one that said I wanted to go slow. And I do. But there's something I have to do before I lose my nerve. And I don't have the strength to fight if anymore." The blonde said with a big gulp and stepped forward.

"What do you need to do? I'm confusss—" Callie began to question the blonde, but before she could reply fully, Arizona had closed the distance between them and pressed her lips against hers.

At first Callie stood stiff, not sure what to do. She felt like this was all just one alcohol induced dream. But after only a couple of seconds, she realized that this was really happening, and her hands moved from her sides and found a resting spot on Arizona's hips. Arizona's arms wrapped around Callie's neck and pulled their bodies closer together as their kiss became more passionate. When they felt as if they were going to pass out from lack of oxygen, they broke the kiss and opened their eyes. They stood still, breathing hard and trying to catch their breath while their eyes stayed locked together.

"Wow." Arizona said with short breath.

"I have to agree." Callie said with a smile. "I could get used to that." She added.

Arizona smiled and stepped back, smiling at Callie as she started to turn and walk out of the room.

Callie remained frozen in place until Arizona had shut the door behind her. Callie leaned back against the wall, and let out a deep breath, shutting her eyes. She was quite positive that she just experienced the most amazing kiss in her life. She had no idea where this was all going, but she knew that she wanted to find out. She most defiantly wanted to experience another kiss like that one.

On the other side of the door, Arizona fell back against it the second it was closed. She wasn't quite sure where she got the courage to kiss Callie, but she did and she didn't regret it. She knew that she was going to have to tell Callie about Joanne, sooner or later, especially if she was going to attempt to have any sort of relationship with Callie. She just wasn't ready yet. She wasn't ready to open herself up to what would surely be painful. She would tell Callie in time, but tonight she just wanted to enjoy the feeling of being happy. It was something that she hadn't felt in so long.

Arizona walked back over to the table, and picked up her drink. She was sucking on her straw when Teddy walked over and nudged her with her shoulder.

"And where did you disappear to missy?" Teddy asked while wiggling her eyebrows.

"I went to the restroom." Arizona said simply.

"Oh, ok. That's cool. And I supposed you and Callie both had to go at the same exact time? What a coincidence." She said sarcastically.

Arizona opened her mouth to respond, but spotted Callie out of the corner of her eye as she returned to her dart game. She didn't realize that she was staring until Teddy began to wave her hand back and forth in front of her face.

"Earth to Arizona." Teddy said.

"Oh, sorry." Arizona said, not even trying to make excuses for staring. "She's beautiful." She said simply.

"Yeah. She is. She is the one that nobody can manage to take off the market though."

"What do you mean? Is she some kind of player or something? Shouldn't you have warned me about that before you let me go—" Arizona said, starting to freak out.

"Whoa, whoa. Chill out. She isn't any kind of 'player' as you put it. She doesn't have any reputation for breaking hearts. She just doesn't settle down. From what I have heard, she has a history of getting her heart broken, so she hasn't really dated in a long time." Teddy explained.

Arizona instantly felt better. Not for the fact that Callie has a reputation for getting her heart broken, but for the fact that Callie wasn't out to get her in bed and then ditch her.

"I wonder why she decided to go out with me then? If she was not into dating, I wonder what changed her mind." Arizon said, stirring her drink with her straw.

"We all wondered the same thing, but from what Mark said… Callie really likes you. So, if you aren't interested… then make sure you are upfront with her. Ok?" Teddy said, the playfulness gone, and seriousness now lacing her tone.

"I don't plan to hurt her. I really like her too. It's pretty scary, and I really wasn't looking for a relationship, but with Callie I am open to see where things can go."

"Good. I think you are both good for each other. But enough with the heavy. Let's drink!" Teddy said, before waving the waitress over and ordering two shots of tequila.

When they drinks were placed on the table, Arizona shook her head no.

"Uh uh, no way. I cannot do tequila shots. Tequila and I do not get along." Arizona said, putting her hands up, backing away playfully.

"Come on Robbins. This group of people here? We are a family. And this family drinks Tequila." Teddy said, sliding her drink in front of her as well as a lime slice.

Arizona blew air out of her mouth, causing her bangs to blow up. "Fine." She said, reaching for the shot. She tossed it back quickly and the burn quickly filled her chest. She slammed the glass upside down next to Teddy's before taking a bit out of the lime and sucking the juice out of ir. Callie had been watching the entire thing, and couldn't resist the urge to walk over to the two blondes. Before she got there, she managed to wave the waitress down and snag 3 more shots of tequila. She snuck up behind Arizona and reached around her to place the shots down on the table. With her lips less than an inch away from Arizona's ear, she whispered, "how about we try that again? Only this time the rules are a little different." Callie said with a mischevious grin on her face.

"Oh? And what exactly are the rules this time around?" Arizona asked.

Callie picked up a lime, and held it up to Arizona. "You hold this." She said. "I'll take the shot, and then I'll get the lime from you. Then we switch." Callie explained.

"The sounds simple enough." Arizona replied, taking the lime in her hand and waiting for Callie to take the shot.

"No. You have to hold the lime… here." Callie pointed at Arizona's lips and waited to see what the blonde would decide to do. Much to her surprise, Arizona winked at her and then placed the lime in her mouth.

Callie's mouth dropped as she was shocked that Arizona actually was going through with this.

"Arizona, I'm kidding. Everyone is watching." Callie said, offering Arizona an out.

"You scared? Dr. Torres?" The blonde asked playfully.

"Oh, not even close sweetheart."

Arizona knew that Callie only called her that out of playfulness, and not out of endearment, but for some reason the sound of the word coming from Callie's lips, referring to her, made Arizona's heart skip a beat. She stood there as Callie poured some salt on the side of her hand, and lifted her drink. She took the shot quickly and then leaned in to Arizona for the lime. Time seemed to slow down to an almost complete stop as their faces grew closer. But when Callie got close enough to take the lime from Arizona's lips, she was caught completely off guard when Arizona dropped the lime, and instead captured Callie's lips in a fiery kiss.

The group of friends whistled and cheered as the two women became lose in each other's kiss. Arizona knew that she was breaking all of her own rules, but for some reason…. She didn't care. Because she couldn't imagine having any rules that kept her away from her true feelings for Callie Torres. She knew that by trying to deny herself her true feelings, she would be setting herself up for failure. And Arizona Robbins was no failure.


	8. Chapter 8

Searching For Myself

CHAPTER 8

One month. One month of no fighting, no constantly looking over her shoulder or living in fear of Joanne coming home and taking all of her frustrations out on her. It had been an entire month of living her new life in Seattle and Arizona couldn't be happier. She and Callie had went on several dates over the past month following their trip to LA and things between them were going better than Arizona could have even imagined.

In fact, today she would be spending the day with Callie since she and the rest of their group of friends were helping Arizona move into her new apartment. She didn't have much of her personal belongings to move, but she had managed to acquire several pieces of furniture from some small stores and different things that her friends were getting rid of that she purchased from them. She had tried to convince them that she could hire people to help her move the items she had been slowing building up in her storage unit, but the group wasn't hearing it. They insisted on helping her move, and then grilling some hamburgers and having a few cold beers afterwards.

Arizona stepped out of the shower after being chased out due to the lack of hot water, and thought to herself how happy she was that this was the last shower she would be taking in this rat hole of a hotel room. Her new apartment was far from being lavish or fancy, but it was a serious upgrade from where she had spent the past month. Callie had offered to hang out at Arizona's place several times after their dates, but Arizona always had one excuse or another as to why Callie's apartment would be better. Arizona was glad that she had managed to keep the latina from seeing where she had been calling home. After all, how would she explain that she was a top notch surgeon and was having to live in this type of living conditions with the salary she was accustomed to making. Callie seeing this place would lead to questions, and questions would lead to answers. And answers would lead to Joanne. All of which Arizona wanted to avoid like the plague.

Teddy on the other hand, had become a frequent visitor in Arizona's hotel. She didn't mind Teddy being around for some strange reason, and over the past month she and the older blonde had become quite close friends. Arizona was very grateful for having such a great friend here, and she looked forward to having Teddy in her life. She knew that she was the type of friend that could last a lifetime. She hadn't told Teddy about Joanne, but she had come close on several occasions. She told her bits and pieces during a night of consuming entirely too much wine in her hotel room, but Teddy didn't ever push the topic. Arizona was almost certain that Teddy had figured out most of it, if not all of it, but Teddy was a good enough friend that she didn't try to get more information out of Arizona than she was willing to give. She had been there for Arizona one night when all she could do was cry, and she couldn't explain why. Instead of trying to get answers out of her, she simply stayed, and let Arizona cry. She spent the entire night there with her that night, just making sure that Arizona knew she wasn't alone. And Arizona was truly grateful for Teddy Altman.

A knock on the door caused Arizona to jump out of her thoughts. She slipped on her robe and walked over to peek out of the door and saw Teddy standing on the other side. She opened the door, and Teddy walked right in and looked around.

"You all packed? We have lots to do before your hot date tonight." Teddy said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Well good morning to you too. And for your information, it's not a 'hot date'. Everyone is going. The chief said that everyone that works for him has to attend this little prom they are throwing for his niece, or we will be stuck working the pit for a month." Arizona said, walking towards the restroom to get dressed. "I'm going to change and then I'll be ready to go." She said, closing the door behind her.

From the other side of the door, Teddy continued to talk. "Well, you're going with Callie and Callie is hot. So I'd say that is a hot date." She said with a laugh.

Arizona rolled her eyes, and finished getting ready. She quickly reappeared in the bedroom and walked over to grab her sneakers and threw her robe into her bag. "That's the last of it. All ready to go. And you are right by the way. Callie is one hot date." Arizona said with a smile.

"So? Have you two done the deed yet? I mean you have went on forty thousand dates already, and you're together at her apartment practically every night." Teddy said, staring at Arizona waiting to see if there were any signs that she was right.

"Seriously Teds? Do you really think that two people can't date and get to know each other first before jumping into bed together?" Arizona said, faking disappointment.

"No. No, I do not think it's possible to spend as much time together as the two of you do and not want to jump their bones. So come on already… have you done it yet?"

"No. We haven't done it yet. Grow up." Arizona said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Ok, ok. Sorry for assuming that you're a horny teenager when you're around Callie." Teddy said, standing up and walking over to pick up one of the duffle bags on the floor.

"Just because we haven't done it yet, doesn't mean that I haven't thought about ripping her clothes off and having my way with her time and time again." Arizona said causing Teddy to spin around with her jaw dropped.

"I knew it! You aren't more mature than I am!" Teddy screamed before both women started laughing.

"Guilty as charged." Arizona said, holding her hands up to surrender.

"Well come on, let's get a move on before everyone starts calling to ask where we are. And not to mention they are probably at the storage already, and you have the only key." Teddy said.

As if on cue, Arizona's phone rang, and Teddy didn't miss the cheesy smile that covered Arizona's face when she saw who it was that was calling. Teddy knew exactly who it would be on the other end.

"Hey you. Good morning." Arizona said softly into the phone. "Yes, Teddy is here, and we are heading out right now actually. You did, huh? Well that was sweet of you, remind me to thank you later."

Teddy rolled her eyes as she listened to the two women talk like a couple of love sick teenagers. She picked up the bags and started to descend the stairs and place the bags in her car, allowing Arizona a few moments alone to talk to Callie. Before she knew it, Arizona appeared on the sidewalk next to her.

"You ready? I know I can't wait to get out of this place." Arizona said, turning back to look at the building one last time. "Goodbye freezing cold showers, and hello to central heat and air conditioning."

After a few trips back and forth from the storage to Arizona's new apartment, they were finally unloading the last few boxes from the back of the rental truck. Mark and Derek had left a few minutes ago to head over to Derek's house to start the fire for the food. Arizona had volunteered to buy the beer as a thank you to everyone for helping today, so she and Callie were going to stop and pick them up before going to Derek and Meredith's house.

"Thank you for all your help today." Arizona said once she and Callie were the last two left in her apartment. "I'm sure you could have spent your day off doing 100 other things way more fun then helping haul boxes and furniture all day."

Callie stepped forward, and wrapped her arms around Arizona's waist. She leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips before pulling back to look her in the eyes.

"I do not care what we spend the day doing. We could move furniture, we could organize Teddy's entire medical journal library. I don't care what we spend the day doing as long as I'm spending it with you then I'd consider it a great day off."

"You're such a sweetheart, you know that?" Arizona said, this time being the one to close the distance between them and softly connecting their lips. "What are your plans for tomorrow night?" Arizona asked.

"Well, I should be out of my last surgery around 7, and then I didn't plan to do much other than pick up a movie from the rental box. What about you? Want to join me?"

"Actually I was going to see if you wanted to come over for dinner. Sort of a 'thank you' for all your help kind of dinner. I was going to cook." Arizona said.

"You can cook? Wow." Callie said jokingly, earning a playful smack on the arm.

"Yes. Actually I can cook pretty well. My mom taught me when I was younger. So if you quit with the jokes, I just might make you something so great it will blow your mind."

"I can think of a few things you could do that would blow my mind." Callie said with a wink.

"Well, we will see about that. Depends on how well you behave at dinner."

Callie smiled, and stepped back to allow Arizona to start putting away a few things in her apartment before they had to leave. They climbed in Callie's car and headed towards Derek and Meredith's house, stopping only to pick up the alcohol for the party. When they arrived, everyone was out back, sitting around a small fire that Derek and Mark had built.

Everyone enjoyed their dinner, and were once again seated around the fire, enjoying their cold beers. Instead of sitting in separate chairs, Arizona ended up sitting on Callie's lap, snuggling together to keep warm since it had become rather cold out.

"Well guys, it has been fun, but I have a really early surgery tomorrow so I'm going to have to call it a night." Callie said, as she and Arizona both stood.

"I can take a cab back to my apartment so you don't have to go out of your way in the opposite direction." Arizona told Callie.

"No way, don't be silly. I am going to drop you off before I go home. I mean, unless you aren't ready to leave then I completely understand."

"I'm ready when you are." Arizona said, taking Callie by the hand and saying their goodbyes.

The drive back to Arizona's new apartment was filled with light discussion about Callie's surgery the following day. Arizona loved how she and Callie had so much in common, and how they both loved their professions. That was something she and Joanne never shared. They seemed to have both come from different worlds, and she really didn't know how they could have ended up together. Soon they were parked in the covered garage to Arizona's complex. Callie shut the engine off and turned to Arizona.

"Thanks for everything today. I really appreciate all of your help." Arizona said, playing with Callie's bracelet on her wrist, avoiding eye contact. She still got insanely nervous when she and Callie were alone.

"You're welcome. And if you need any help unpacking, just let me know. I work tomorrow, but then I have two days off so if you need anything, give me a call." Callie said.

"Did you want to come up? Have a night cap before you take off?" Arizona asked nervously.

"I would love to, but I don't trust myself. We are trying to wait, and I know that if I go up there, I can't promise you that I would be able to keep my hands to myself." Callie said with a blush.

"Well that is very noble of you Ms. Torres. And for the record, it's incredibly hard for me to wait as well, but when the time is right, and we do take the next step, it will be worth it." Arizona said, trying her best to convince not only Callie, but herself, that waiting was the right decision.

"Can I kiss you goodnight?" Callie said, looking down at their laced fingers.

"You would upset me if you didn't." Arizona said leaning over the middle console and closing her eyes.

Their kiss started out soft and innocent, but the desire that the two women had building between them quickly took over. Hands began to roam, and mouths found necks. Callie's hand found its way under the hem of Arizona's shirt, and it wasn't until she felt the lace at the bottom of Arizona's bra that she finally pulled herself away.

"Wow. I better get going, because this is becoming incredibly hard to be strong and to pace myself." Callie said, biting her lip in an effort not to kiss Arizona again.

"You're right. We should stop. I'll see you tomorrow though right? Dinner at… say, 7?" Arizona asked.

"I'll see you at 7." Callie said, watching Arizona step out of the car and walk towards her building.

Arizona walked down the hallway after exiting the elevator and put the key in the door. She had just stepped inside and sat her purse down on one of the many, many boxes that consumed her living room when she heard several loud and fast knocks on the door. She turned and walked over to the chain and unlocked the door.

Opening the door she was almost knocked down when Callie stepped inside, pressing Arizona against the wall. Before Arizona could say a word, Callie's lips were on hers. Hands instantly started reaching for zippers and buttons, and neither woman tried to stop it. They knew exactly what they were getting themselves into, and it was something they both wouldn't change for the life of them. No, Callie and Arizona were falling for each other, and things were falling perfectly into place.

They stumbled towards Arizona's bedroom, discarding clothes along the way. Letting them stay wherever they landed. Inside the bedroom they collapsed on top of the mattress that lay on the floor. Callie pulled away for only a moment, finding the right words to make sure that this is what Arizona wanted as well, but Arizona gave her no time to speak. Instead she placed her hands on the back of Callie's head and pulled her down to capture her lips once again.

"A-are you s-sure?" Callie managed to speak through ragged breaths.

"I'm very sure. Now stop talking." Arizona said before rolling Callie to her back and laying on top of her.

Arizona was lost in Callie's kisses and her touch. She couldn't imagine feeling anything better than this. She had wanted this for so long. Someone who made her happy. Someone who appreciated her for who she was. And she finally had it. But little did she know that her pretty pink bubble they had been floating in was fixing to burst right in front of her face. Because someone was on a flight headed for Seattle and was determined to bring Arizona's new life to a screeching hault.


	9. Chapter 9

Searching For Myself

Chapter 9

"And I expected everyone of you to be there, and each and every one of you let me down. So as I said before, you can all check with my secretary for your pit rotations. I'll make sure none of you forget missing my nieces prom. Now get to work." The chief said. He was more than angry with everyone for not attending his nieces hospital prom the previous night. Most of his staff of surgeons were at Derek and Merediths enjoying the bbq and having a few drinks. Once they had finished moving Arizona, they were all too tired to get dressed up and attend. They knew that the chief would be less than happy with them this morning, which is why they all sat there and took the butt chewing they knew they were sure to receive.

Once they were all excused, they exited the conference room and went their separate ways. Callie had walked out before Arizona, but she hung back waiting against the wall for the blonde to come out. When she did, she spotted Callie and gave her a dimpled smile. Thoughts of last night were running through her mind non stop. The way Callie kissed her, the way she touched every inch of her body with such passion and softness. She couldn't remember the last time someone touched her that way. And when it was all over with, Callie fell asleep with her arms around Arizona and her face buried in Callie's neck.

_Arizona stayed laying still for over an hour, wide awake. She just enjoyed the way it felt to be wrapped in Callie's arms that way, and how she wanted to feel that way over and over again. She felt safe with Callie. And that was something she never thought she would feel again. _

_They woke in the same exact position they had fallen asleep in, as neither of them wanted to move out of the other's embrace. Callie was the first to wake, and she stayed laying there not wanting to wake the blonde until she absolutely had to, and she cursed her bladder when it wouldn't stop alerting her of her need to use the restroom. She tried her best to slide out of the bed without waking the blonde who had another hour to be able to rest, but had no such luck. The minute Callie moved, Arizona's eyes were open. _

"_Mmmm, Where you going?" The blonde said with a sleepy tone. _

"_Restroom. I'll be right back." Callie said, kissing the top of blonde hair. _

_Arizona snuggled over into the spot where Callie had just been laying, and she inhaled a deep breath. She could smell Callie on her pillow and she loved it. A few moments later Callie came out of the restroom and walked over to the bed and leaned over to place a soft kiss on Arizona lips. _

"_I'm going to make us some breakfast before we head into work. Sound good?" _

_Arizona took her time getting dressed for the day while Callie prepared them both a delicious breakfast of pancakes and eggs. The only few things Arizona had purchased for her house so far. They finished eating and went into work together. Which is why Arizona was in such a great mood now, considering the way her day had started. _

"How does your schedule look today?" Callie asked, as Arizona walked up to her.

"Pretty busy, but I should still be out in time for dinner tonight. How about yours?"

"If I play my cards right, I will be out of here by 5 so I can go to my apartment to shower and change. But I will be at yours by 7." Callie said, stepping a little closer into Arizona's personal space. When she was close enough that nobody else could hear Callie whispered into her ear.

"I have an idea for dessert though." She said with a wink.

Arizona felt her face go red and she cleared her throat. Feeling as if it just got 10 degrees hotter within the past 5 seconds.

"Well if you're dessert is what I'm thinking of, then I am more than willing to skip dinner and go straight to the dessert."Arizona said, taking the flirtation game up to the next level.

"When I was young, I hated having to wait until the end to have dessert, because once you ate your dinner you were almost always too full to have dessert. So now that I'm an adult, I say dessert first is the best way to go."

"Well if you are on time, we just might have dessert first. But for now, I have to get going because I have to round on my patients before my surgery. I'll page you after?" Arizona asked with a wink.

"Please do." Callie said before looking around to make sure there wasn't an audience and placing a soft kiss on Arizonas lips and turning to walk towards the ortho wing.

Arizona shook her head, trying to come back down to earth. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't take her eyes off of Callie until she was completely out of sight.

"Boo!" Mark said to Callie the second she came around the corner where he had been standing and watching the whole interaction between her and Arizona.

"Jesus, Mark! You scared the shit out of me! Would you quit doing that?" Callie said, holding her hand over her chest.

"So, you and blondie an item yet?" Mark said, pointing back over his shoulder towards the direction Arizona had just been.

"That's none of your business. And even if we were, I wouldn't tell you because then the entire hospital would know and we are trying to keep our business to ourselves.

"Oh come on. I'm supposed to be your best friend. And if you are in a relationship I have a right to know so I can give her the 'break her heart I break your face' speech. Good god, who is that!" Mark said, changing the subject as he saw a long legged brunette walking towards the elevator.

Callie spun around to see what was so great and had to admit that the woman was very beautiful. Of course she didn't hold a candle to Arizona, but Callie could appreciate a pretty woman.

"I don't know, but she is definitely new around this place. Because I have never seen her." Callie said before the woman disappeared behind the closing elevator doors.

"Oh yeah. She hasn't ever been here before because I would remember those legs. That's for sure." Mark added.

"Calm down there boy. If Lexie hears you talking like that, you will end up on the couch again indefinitely. Oh shit, I gotta go. I have surgery in a few minutes." Callie said, looking down at her watch. "I still have to go upstairs and get a chart from medical records. I'll catch you later Mark." Callie said before hitting the button to call the elevator.

"Ok, but don't think this conversation is over Torres. I wanna know the whole story about you and Robbins!" Mark called out only to get an eye roll from his best friend.

Callie stepped out on the next floor and started to walk towards medical records when she noticed the brunette from earlier once again. She was passing by and something the woman said caused Callie to stop dead in her tracks. She felt a chill of cold run throughout her entire body at the womans words.

She was standing at the Human Resources' desk and the woman she was asking for just happened to be Arizona. Callie had to focus really hard to make sure she was hearing this correctly, because it sure as hell sounded as if this woman was asking if her WIFE worked here. Her wife who's name was the same as Callie's somewhat 'girlfriend'.

Callie ducked around the corner out of sight, but not out of hearing distance.

"Yes, that's correct. Dr. Arizona Robbins. She's a pediatric surgeon. It's very important that I speak to her immediately." The woman said. And once the nurse asked her to repeat who she was to Dr. Robbins, her answer made Callie want to vomit.

"I'm her wife. My name is Joanne Robbins. Now please, page my wife immediately."

Callie couldn't move. Her entire body felt like it was moving on auto pilot. She couldn't make her feet move no matter how hard she tried. 'Arizona is married. She's married'. Is all she kept whispering out loud to herself. Loud enough that Joanne heard her saying Arizona's name and walked over.

"Excuse me? Um, Dr… Torres?" Joanne asked, after straining to read Callie's badge. "I heard you saying Arizona's name, and I was wondering if you knew her." She asked.

Callie stared at her, at a loss for words. How could this have happened? She should have know that if it seemed too good to be true, that it must have been. Of course this perfect, beautiful, smart woman would be married. And Callie was nothing but a distraction that Arizona was using from her boring marriage. Callie's shock and pain quickly turned into anger and fury as she looked down and saw the wedding band on the womans finger.

"Hello? Do you know where Arizona is right now?" Joanne asked again, this time Callie cleared her throat to reply.

"Yes. I know where she is. She was just getting ready to scrub in for surgery. You're her, um… wife? Right?" Callie asked one last time, partly hoping to hear an answer she wanted but didn't have such luck.

"Yes. She's my wife, and I really need to speak to her. It's an emergency."

Callie was now operating on sheer hate. She was ready to get Arizona by those stupid blonde braids that she thought were cute 30 minutes ago, and slam her head through some sheet rock. But no, she wasn't going to resort to any kind of physical violence. Instead she was going to expose Arizona for the lying, cheat that she was in front of everyone. And then she would wash her hands of the woman once and for all.

"Follow me. I'll take you up to the gallery and you can wait for her there until she finishes up. It's not a major surgery so she won't be long." Callie said, faking politeness.

Joanne walked beside Callie and they took the elevator back down to the surgical floor once more. Walking down the hall, Mark passed by and looked confused because Callie said she was due in surgery, but yet here she was walking down the hall with the hot, hot woman they were just drooling over a few minutes ago.

"Where you headed Cal?" Mark asked in passing.

"Not. Now. Mark." Callie said, biting her tongue with each word.

Mark quickly noticed the look on Callie's face, and the he saw how white her knuckles were as she walked with both hands doubled up into fists. 'Shit' he said softly before changing his path and jumping into step behind Callie.

The two women, shortly followed by Mark, climbed the stairs to the surgical gallery. They walked over to the window and Joanne looked down, instantly seeing Arizona. Callie pressed the intercom button and everyone looked up from the ground floor, as well as everyone in the gallery. They had no idea what would be so important that would cause Callie to interrupt Arizona's surgery.

"Excuse me. Dr. Robbins? Someone is here to see you." Callie said, hiding her anger as best as she could.

Arizona looked up from the patient and her legs went weak. The smile that was on her face upon hearing Callie's voice was instantly gone the second she locked eyes on Joanne. And to make matters worse, Joanne was standing next to Callie. Arizona had no idea what all Joanne had said to fill Callie's head with bullshit, and she instantly wanted to disappear. She wanted to hide, to cry, to beg Callie to forgive her for lying, but she knew by the look on Callie's face that it was too late.

"Hi Honey." Joanne said with one of the fakest smiles ever. Arizona looked back towards Callie and tears filled her eyes when she saw that Callie's were already falling.

Joanne noticed the way Arizona looked at Callie, so she turned and saw exactly what she had suspected. Callie had tears streaming down her cheeks and she knew. She knew that Arizona had been having an affair, and this was the woman she was having the affair with.

"She made you think she loved you, didn't she?" Joanne said softly to Callie. "She's great at that. She uses women, gets what she wants from them and then comes back home to me. You were nothing but a toy. Once she was done with her toy, she would have thrown you away and went on to the next one. You're better off dear. You found out early enough." Joanne said, placing her hand on Callie's shoulder.

"Do NOT, touch me." Callie said, throwing Joanne's hand off her shoulder. And you can keep her." She said before turning and storming out of the room.

"Callie!" Arizona screamed, but it was too late. Callie was gone. And she knew that she had lost her. She had only just begun being happy for what seemed like the first time in her life, and now once again, Joanne was the cause of her pain. She knew that there would be a slim chance of ever getting Callie back. Everyone had always hurt Callie, and now she was just like everyone else.


	10. Chapter 10

Searching For Myself

CHAPTER 10

Arizona came busting out of the OR, trying her best to find Callie. Of course Joanne came rushing down the stairs and grabbed ahold of Arizona's wrist.

"Arizona. Stop! Let her go. You have done enough." Joanne said to her estranged wife.

Arizona turned around, unsure of how to deal with this situation. All she wanted to do was get to Callie and try to fix this horrible mess that she made. But before she could even speak to Callie, she had to deal with Joanne, and that was a situation she had no clue how to deal with.

"Joanne, please. I am begging you. Just go. Please." Arizona said, with a child like voice.

Joanne stepped forward, and got so close that their lips were almost touching. She whispered only loud enough that Arizona could hear.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you have put me through? I have been looking for you all day, every day. I have missed work, I have called everyone that you and I know trying to find you. And I finally find you and what do I discover? You already have you some little cheap whore in some town you thought I would never find you in. Well here's the thing about being a 'world class surgeon'. You're easy to find on the internet. Especially when you work at a hospital that is obsessed with promoting their doctors like a damn sports drink. Let the whore go. It's over and we are going home." Joanne said, squeezing Arizona's wrist until Arizona whimpered in pain.

"Callie is NOT a whore! And you will NOT talk about her that way!" Arizona said, raising her voice louder than she wanted to originally. Joanne lifted her hand up, pulling back ready to strike Arizona. Luckily, Mark had been standing back watching the entire thing and stepped forward in time to grab Joanne's arm.

"Lady, I don't know who you are, and none of this is my business, but I do know that if you lay a hand on Dr. Robbins, I will make it my business and I will see to it that you end up behind bars for assaulting a surgeon." Mark said.

" . . before I slap YOU instead." Joanne said quietly.

"Look lady! You—"Mark began, but before he could finish, Callie appeared.

"Mark. Stop." Callie said, making Arizona, Joanne and Mark all turn around.

"Callie…" Arizona tried, but Callie didn't allow her a chance to talk.

"Mark, let's go. This is their drama, and we don't need to be involved in it. Please. Take me home." Callie said, more on the verge of tears than anger.

Once again, Arizona stepped forward and tried to get Callie to talk to her. But again, Callie didn't want to hear it. Mark walked over to her, wrapped his arm around her and walked her out of the hospital. Callie didn't say a word on the walk to her apartment. She went inside, walked to the kitchen and pulled her bottle of tequila down. She didn't even bother pouring a shot, instead she opened the bottle and took a long pull straight from the bottle.

"Cal. Do you want to talk about it?" Mark asked softly.

"There's nothing to talk about. I fell for a woman who was already married. I don't know why it even surprises me. I'm meant to be alone obviously. Everyone I let get close to me never fails to disappoint me. Why should Arizona be any different?"

Callie walked over to her bedroom door, stood there for a moment and told Mark she was going to take a shower without even turning around. She pushed the door open and disappeared inside. She hoped that once she came out that Mark would be gone, and let her just be alone. But she knew the chances of that happening were slim to none. Mark was a great friend, and even though she didn't want him around, she was glad that he was.

BACK AND THE HOSPITAL

"Joanne, please. I am begging you—"Arizona tried her best to get the woman to leave, and to not start the trouble she was certain would follow.

"We need to talk. Is there somewhere we can talk? Alone?" Joanna insisted.

Arizona knew that she would have to speak to her alone or she would never leave. Hell she knew that she probably wouldn't leave anyhow, but she had to try. She had to do whatever she had to so Joanne would leave and she could go find Callie and try to explain all of this. She told Joanne to follow her and she led them to one of the empty on call rooms.

Once inside, Arizona stood with her back to the door, making sure she had an easy escape route. She had been in this position one too many time and she was all to familiar with Joanne's ways to set herself up to be trapped.

"What do you want Joanne? Please just tell me so you can leave." Arizona said, desperate to end this.

"So I can leave?" Joanne said with a laugh. "That's not going to happen babe. We are married. We said until death do we part. Remember that?"

"You also said you would never do anything to hurt me. You said you would always take care of me and that was all a load of bullshit too now wasn't it?" Arizona fired back. And it felt good. It felt good to finally say things she had kept in for so long.

"We BOTH made mistakes. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did, and you shouldn't have left me without even a goodbye. You just left and acted as if I didn't exist. How do you think that made me feel?" Joanne said, acting as if she were truly hurt.

"No. I didn't do things to physically hurt you Joanne. You beat me every day of the week. You didn't love me, you loved feeling powerful and making me feel as small as humanly possible. And I want you to leave. I have someone now. And she is so good to me. She would never do anything to hurt me, and I have hurt her so badly. I love her Joanne. I love her more than I knew it were possible to love someone. And I cannot make this better until you leave. So… GO. Get the hell out of my life." Arizona said, starting to get more and more angry as the conversation went on.

"There is no way I am leaving unless you are going to be on that airplane with me. Now, I am going to go to the hotel and gather my things, I expect you to pick me up when you get off and take me to wherever it is that you have been living." Joanne said before stepping forward and placing a kiss on top of Arizona's forehead and turning to walk away.

"Oh, and Arizona? Don't make me come find you again, because next time I'll be sure to make a scene. One your chief of surgery will not appreciate." Joanne said, and then she was gone. Little did she know that someone was standing outside of the door and heard the entire conversation.

Arizona stood there, frozen in place until Joanne was completely gone. When the door shut, she collapsed into a fit of tears on the bed. "How did things get this way? How could this happen?" She asked herself. She stood up, she knew she had to find a way to get to Callie and she needed to get there quick. She had to explain everything to her. She stood up and jerked the door to the on call room open and rushed to the chief's office. She had to make sure he knew what was going on so when Joanne reappeared, which she knew she would, and she wanted to be prepared.

It took her a while to be able to explain everything to the chief. She wasn't good around authority, and she was already extremely emotional. But she finally explained the whole story to him, and he was very kind and understanding. He let security know that if Joanne were to show up again, that she was to be removed from the premises right away. She thanked him, and with his permission she took the remainder of the day off. He wasn't a man that got into his surgeon's personal business, but he knew enough to know that Callie and Arizona had some sort of relationship going on considering the fact that Callie had come to his office only an hour earlier and asked to take the rest of the day off as well.

She didn't even bother changing out of her scrubs, instead she ran out of the building and down towards Callie's apartment complex. She scaled the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. When she reached Callie's door, she stood there long enough to catch her breath. She reached up and knocked several times. When there was no answer, she took a chance and reached for the door knob. To her surprise, it turned easily and she pushed the door open slowly. Peeking her head inside, she called out Callie's name. Still no answer. She walked further into the apartment and looked around. The bottle of tequila was sitting on the bar, open. Arizona knew this wasn't a good sign. She walked towards the bedroom and she heard the shower running. She decided to wait in the living room. The last thing she needed to do was enter the restroom and upset the woman even further.

She walked back into the living room, and stood by the window. Looking down at the street. She didn't hear the water turn off, or Callie enter the room with her.

"What are you doing here?" Callie said, anger still written all over her face.

"Callie, please—" Arizona begged.

"I have nothing to say to you Arizona. Nothing. You shouldn't even be here. You should go find your wife." Callie said, turning and pouring herself another shot of tequila.

"Callie, it is not like that. Let me explain." Arizona tried again.

"Explain what? That you are fucking _married_? That you were just playing with me? That this was all some kind of sick, sick joke. I meant _nothing _to you Arizona, so why should I sit here and listen to anymore of your damn lies."

Arizona took a few steps closer to Callie. Needing to be close to her, needing her to understand.

"Callie, if you will give me 5 minutes to explain. I promise you that after that, I will leave if you want me gone. And I will never bother you again. Just please. Give me 5 minutes." Arizona said, begging now.

Callie couldn't help but feel some sort of pain seeing Arizona this way. Even if Arizona had been lying the entire time, she hadn't been. And she truly loved her.

"Five minutes. And that is it. Then you can leave so I can finish consuming this bottle of tequila and sleeping my two days off away." Callie said, walking over to the couch and sitting down, as far away from Arizona as she could.

Arizona sat down on the other couch, respecting Callie's wishes to be as far away from her as possible.

"I don't know where to start. I uh." Arizona began, not missing the eye roll that Callie gave her.

"Well, you only have 5 minutes, so I'd get to talking." Callie said, taking another drink from her bottle.

Arizona got up, walked over to the other end of the couch and sat down.

"Callie, Joanne and I met back in college. She was my roommate, and she was there for me when I came out. It was a big step in my life and it felt like so many of my other friends turned their backs on me. Over time we grew close, and it seemed like over night we became a couple. It kind of just happened. Things between us seemed fine, for the most part. I don't think I was ever in love with her, but it was more of a comfort thing. I got used to her. Well, one night I came home from class and she was in a bad mood about a paper she failed and she took it out on me. We started to argue and she slapped me. I went to leave and she followed me. She pushed me and I fell down the entire flight of stairs."

The expression on Callie's face began to lighten somewhat. She had no idea that Arizona had ever been abused. She cleared her throat, and motioned for Arizona to continue.

"I tried to leave several times, but she always made sure that it was impossible. I saved for over a year. Putting money here and there just trying to save it without her noticing. After I got enough to get out of there, I talked to my boss and she knew Chief Webber so she said that could help me get a job here. I'm so stupid. I knew that eventually she would find me but I was hoping that she would just let me go. I never meant to hurt you, I promise you that I never did. I know I should have told you sooner and I regret that but if you'll give me a chance, I promise to be honest with you from this point forward.

Callie sat there looking at Arizona, unsure of what to say. She thought that if she believed her, that she wouldn't hurt her again, but she just wasn't sure anymore. She wanted nothing more than to believe Arizona, she loves her after all, but what is she supposed to do now that her wife is here.

Callie looked at Arizona and felt the tears swelling up in her eyes. Arizona was looking down at her hands fidgeting and feeling obviously uneasy.

"Do you love her?" Callie asked.

"No! God, no. Callie I have to tell you something. I know it's too soon to say this and no I'm not just saying it because Joanne is here. I'm saying it because I mean it. I'm in love with you and I have been since the moment that I let you in." Arizona said.

Callie sat there staring at her. She knew that she was in love with Arizona, but she wasn't sure that Arizona had felt the same. She turned and looked at the woman and she couldn't stop her tears from falling.

"You do?" Callie asked softly.

"I do." Arizona said. "And I am so, so terribly sorry. But I can't lose you. I only just found you. And I need you in my life. I told Joanne to leave. That I do not love her. But I know it will not happen that easily. She's going to fight me. She said she's not leaving Seattle without me. I don't know what do do. I'm so scared."

"I love you too." Callie said before scooting across the couch and wrapping her arms around Arizona. "And we will get through this, together. She will never put her hands on you again. You are safe now. I won't let her hurt you."

Arizona's tears were falling freely now as well. She moved closer and breathed in a sigh of relief now that she was with Callie and away from Joanne. Sure, Joanne couldn't find her here, but she would find her eventually and that scared the hell out of her. She didn't want anymore trouble. She just wanted to be happy with Callie and for Joanne to just disappear.

"Where is she? Where is Joanne now? Callie asked.

"She went to her hotel. She said she would be waiting for me to pick her up and take her to my apartment."

Callie stood up and walked over to the kitchen, placing the bottle of tequila back in the cabinet.

"Well that isn't going to happen. There's no way that psycho is going to be alone with my girlfriend. I'll kill the bitch if she lays a finger on you." Callie said, not noticing the expression Arizona had.

"What?" What did I say wrong?" Callie asked once seeing Arizona's face.

"You..you called me your g-girlfriend."

"Yeah? Annnnd?" Callie said, confused as to why Arizona seemed so shocked.

"Am I? Am I your girlfriend?" Arizona asked, stepping a little closer to Callie.

"Well I want you to be. How do you feel about us being together?"

"I think that will make me happier than I have ever been in my life." Arizona said.

"I love you Arizona. But you have to promise me..no more lies. No more secrets. We have to be honest all the time or this will not work." Callie said seriously.

"I love you too. So much. And I swear to you. No more secrets or lies. Never." Arizona said before leaning in and kissing Callie softly on the lips.

Once they broke apart from their kiss, Callie took Arizona by the hand and led her to the couch.

"So tell me. What do we have to do to get rid of her? Do you have to file for a divorce? Were yall legally married? I want to know so I can help you."

"We had a small ceremony , mainly it was her friends there since she made me cut ties with my family over the past few years. But we aren't legally married. She did a legal name change to Robbins, but that is all."

"After I left…did she? Did she hurt you in any way?" Callie asked, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer to her question in fear of the answer being something she can't handle.

"No, I didn't give her a chance. And she wouldn't do that with any witness around. Joanne prefers to put her hands on me when we are alone. And always left marks where people couldn't see them. So they think we have some perfect little marriage. Boy that's a fucking joke."

"So what if we set her up? Put her in a position where she thinks she has the upper hand and then let her know she's busted? Then we can threaten her to leave or we press charges. We can make sure to have lots of witnesses. I promise she won't get a chance to touch you though. I promise you babe." Callie explained.

"That sounds perfect. But how would we do that?" Arizona asked.

"Leave that up to me." Callie said.

Callie knew that this was a dangerous plan. Knew that if it wasn't planned out perfectly, that Joanne could possibly hurt her girlfriend. But this was the only way they could guarantee Joanne left and stayed away from Arizona for good. So she picked up the phone and started making phone calls to put her plan into action.


	11. Chapter 11

Searching For Myself

CHAPTER 11

"And what if this doesn't go as planned Cal? Are you willing to take that kind of chance? She could hurt—" Mark asked, after Callie spent an hour going over the plan time and time again.

"Don't even say it. She is not going to lay a hand on her. I'm doing this because it's the only way to make her leave Arizona alone, once and for all. She is not going to keep threatening her. Not anymore. I won't let her do this to the woman that I love." Callie said, and all Mark did was nod. He knew his best friend well enough to know that when Callie put her mind to something, she made it happen. He didn't question the fact that Callie said she was in love with Arizona after only 1 short month, because he also knew that when Callie loves someone, she loves them fiercely. She loves them with every fiber of her being. And if his best friend needed his help, he was going to give it. No matter what.

"Ok, I'm in. Just tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it." Mark said seriously.

"Just what I said. If we do this exactly how I explained it, then nothing should go wrong. But Mark please. Don't let anything go wrong." Callie said with a serious tone to her voice.

Mark stood up and walked over to the chair that Callie was sitting in. He squatted down next to her and placed his hand on top of hers.

"I promise you. I will do anything and everything in my power to make sure that nothing happens to her. I'll be right on the other side of the door, and if I hear even the slightest sound of trouble I'll be in there before she has a chance to touch her. You have my word." Mark said.

"Thank you. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her Mark. I love her so much."

"I know you do. I see it every time she walks into the same room as you. Your entire face lights up. You're different now that she is in your life. And for the better. I was worried that after Erica, I'd never see this side of you again. So I will defiantly protect blon—I mean, Arizona. Because I owe her for bringing my best friend so much happiness."

Callie leaned over and wrapped her arms around Mark's neck and gave him a tight hug. Just as Arizona came walking out of the bedroom. Callie had convinced her to take a warm shower to help de-stress while she made some phone calls.

Mark looked up and saw Arizona, drying her hair with a towel, wearing Callie's Florida State tshirt and some yoga pants.

"So. When are we going to get this show on the road? I called Derek and he is going to meet me out front of the hospital, I just have to page him when we are ready to roll." Mark said.

"Arizona? Can you call Joanne and ask her if you can meet her at her hotel? Say, 45 minutes from now?" Callie asked, looking up at her obviously nervous girlfriend.

Arizona just nodded and pulled out her cell phone to call her estranged wife. Arizona felt as if she were going to vomit with every ring of the phone against her ear. Just as Arizona thought her voicemail was going to pick up, she hear Joanne's voice on the other end of the line.

"Hello?" Joanne said.

"It's me. Arizona." The blonde said, trying to force herself to speak the words.

"I was waiting for your call. Are you coming to pick me up so we can go to your apartment so we can talk? We didn't have much privacy at the hospital. That pretty boy doctor was constantly lurking around." Joanne said, acting as if everything were perfectly normal..

"That's uh.. that's why I was calling you. I have a roommate and she should be home any second. I was hoping I could go to your hotel and we could talk there instead." Arizona said, wanting nothing more than to hang up the phone and never speak to her again.

"Well I guess that will have to do. So when are you going to be here?"

Arizona was now pacing the room. Mark and Callie both studying her and it was easy to see that Arizona was petrified of the woman. It made Callie feel sick when she thought about the things Joanne had done to her in the past. And she wished that Arizona wouldn't have to be doing this, but it was really their only option at this point.

"I will be there in roughly 45 minutes." Arizona said.

Shortly after she hung up the phone, Mark was calling Derek and let him know that they would be picking him up soon. Callie made the phone call to the hotel that Joanne was staying at and requested the room directly next door to hers. They needed to be close enough to stop anything if it were to start, but far enough away that Joanne wouldn't have a clue about their presence.

Arizona ran towards the restroom and emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet before Callie was right behind her. She had a bottle of water and a cold washcloth in her hands and she extended it to the blonde.

"Babe. I know you are worried, but everything is going to be fine. We just have to do this so we can make her leave you alone for good." Callie said, brushing a strand of hair away from Arizona's face.

"I know. I just wish this were over already." Arizona said.

Half an hour later, Callie, Arizona, Mark, and Derek were headed towards the hotel. Callie looked over at the blonde from the corner of her eye and saw that she was playing with her hands nervously. Callie reached over and placed her hand on top of the blondes, and no words were spoken. Callie knew that it didn't matter what she said, it wouldn't make Arizona any less nervous. They pulled up at the hotel, and Arizona was to climb out of the car alone. The group didn't want to walk in together in fear of Joanne seeing them all together. So Arizona climbed out of the car, turned and gave Callie one last look before shutting the door and walking inside.

"She will be ok Cal." Mark said, reaching up and patting Callie on her shoulder from the back seat.

The group parked and walked towards the front desk to check in. Mark kept scanning the room making sure that he didn't catch sight of Joanne. They checked in and took the stairs up to the floor there room, as well as Joannes was on. Callie's stomach was in knots, knowing that Arizona had already been in the room for over 15 minutes without them being able to hear anything.

They made their way inside of the room, and waited.

"How long is she going to wait? She should have called by now." Callie said, pacing the room impatiently.

"Cal, calm down. She will call. She has to wait until Joanne isn't looking. You don't want her to slip up, because if Joanne catches her, it wouldn't work out the way we need it to, right?" Mark said, trying to calm his best friend down.

And just as if she were on cue, Arizona called Callie's phone. Callie put it on speaker phone automatically, and the 3 doctors listened. Some of the conversation was muffled as the phone was inside of Arizona's jacket pocket. But it was loud enough to hear if anything went down in the room so they could enter the building.

A knock on the door caused Callie to jump clear out of the chair she had only just sat in.

"I got it. I'm sure its David." Derek said, referring to his friend who was an officer for Seattle PD.

Derek opened the door and let his officer friend inside the room before quickly closing the door behind them.

"Mark, Callie… this is David. David this is Mark Sloan, and Callie Torres. They are surgeons at the hospital with me.

Callie waved at the man, but her eyes quickly returned to the screen of her iphone as she listened to Arizona and Joanne talking. Just hearing Joanne's voice made Callie feel sick.

"How long do we have to wait?" Callie asked nervously.

"We need to wait until we have something solid to go with. We might not get this opportunity again, so we need to be smart about this." David said.

Most of what the two women were saying was muffled, but soon their voices became loud enough to be heard as their conversation grew more heated.

"How could you expect me to want to stay there? You made my life a living hell. I wasn't even safe in my own home!" Arizona said, raising her voice.

"Oh poor Arizona. Always playing the victim. You are the one that gave me damn good reasons for everything I did. You pushed my buttons on purpose each and every time. You know that. I didn't do anything that you didn't deserve!" Joanne yelled back. "And this Seattle business is bullshit. We are going home first thing tomorrow. And that is final. Whatever crap you have going on with that woman is finished. Do you hear me?" Joanne continued.

"I will NOT stop being with Callie. I love her!" Arizona spat back.

That was enough to set Joanne off. All that was heard next was a LOUD smack, and Callie was up and through the door. Arizona had managed to unlock the door that was adjoining the two rooms without Joanne noticing. If she hadn't have been able to do that, then this plan wouldn't have worked out and there was no telling what could have went wrong.

Callie burst through the door, quickly followed by Mark, David and Derek. Callie leapt towards Joanne, ready to beat the ever loving shit out of her, but Mark held her back, allowing Derek and David to pull Joanne off of Arizona. Joanne was straddle across Arizona's mid section, and Arizona was flat on her back on the floor. Joanne was swinging and swinging at Arizona's face. Her arm was drawn back, ready to punch Arizona again when David grabbed her arm and stopped her. Callie was quickly at Arizona's side, checking her injuries. "I'm so sorry." She whispered to her girlfriend.

"Joanne Robbins, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you—" David began to read her Miranda rights, but Joanne yelled out over him.

"What the hell? Why am I being arrested? She attacked me first. I was only defending myself. Arrest her!"

David didn't acknowledge what she said, knowing it was total bullshit. Instead he continued. "Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?" He finished.

"I want a lawyer!" Joanne screamed.

"We will get you one, just as soon as we get you downtown and booked. Don't you worry your pretty little heart. And until your lawyer shows up, you can wait in the holding tank. The ladies in there don't take too kindly to lady beaters." David said with a smirk. He escorted Joanne out of the room followed by Derek and Mark after Callie gave them to 'ok' to go.

Callie helped Arizona set up on the floor, and quickly ran to the restroom and brought back a wet towel. "Here, let me see your nose. I just want to make sure nothing is broken." Callie said, gently pressing the cool, wet towel against Arizona's skin.

"I'm so sorry. I should have come in here sooner. This is all my fault, I shouldn't have made you—" Callie said, apologizing, but Arizona stopped her.

"I'm fine Callie. I'm fine. Really. I'll have one hell of a headache tomorrow, but I"ll be ok. I have taken worse from Joanne. I owe you a lot of gratitude for helping me. Maybe now she will stay away from me. Thank you." Arizona said while leaning into Callie's embrace. "I feel safe here. You always make me feel save. And I wasn't scared of her, because I knew that you were on the other side of the wall. I knew that I would be ok as long as you were close by." Arizona said.

"I will always protect you. With everything I have. You are my life Arizona. My life." Callie said, kissing the top of the blondes head.

"Let's go home." Arizona said.

"We have to stop by the police station and give your statement. Then I promise to take you home, and give you a warm bath. I'll even make us dinner and we can relax with a movie. Sound good?" Callie asked, helping the blonde to her feet.

"Sounds perfect."

The two women made their way out of the hotel, Callie's arm around Arizona as they walked out of the building towards Callie's car. Callie silently hoped that this would be all it took to be able to keep Joanne away from Arizona. She knew that they would most likely end up going to court, but Arizona had 3 witnesses to stand by her side through this. And no matter what, no matter how far they had to go to overcome this, Callie made a promise to herself that she would be by Arizona's side every step of the way.


End file.
